Sunday, October 7, 2012

In Which Things Get Loose

Mittens wants to fuuuuuck!!!

"Did you know that 47% of Americans don't pay taxes? Isn't that outrageous!"
"No, 47% of Americans don't pay federal income taxes. But more than half of those people do pay federal payroll taxes. And of the 18% of Americans who don't pay any federal taxes, a lot still pay state and local taxes, and they all pay sales taxes."
"But why can't we just cut them loose anyways?"
"Because they'd die."
"So what?!"
"We need them as consumers."
- President Romney, talked down from pushing the Button by Bill Clinton

"Fucking work, damn it!" – Willard Romulus Erectus Abundus, Arachnid Emperor of the Star Children of the Salt Lake, scouring the City

"You people can't even fucking cook!" – Queen Ann addresses the masses
Romney Urges Cautious Tone with Portal Emissary
"Five Hour Energy is fucking holy and a sacrament." - Romulus banishes Tagg from the Suite

"He loves his family? Who gives a damn, 'he loves his family.' Lots of bad people love their families. That's why they're bad." - James Carville

"Unleash the Ryan swarm upon Iowa." - Romulus at the bridge of the Rafalca
Biden Challenges Ryan to Trial By Cobra
"Congressman Ryan, are those leg warmers?"
"Yeah, I can't stand this early autumn weather. Hot balls, cold feet."
"You're so Gen X."
- John Boehner and Paul Ryan jogging on Shepherd Skull Road, D.C.

"One day this will all be ash."
"What's that Mr. President?"
"I said, thank you for having me!
"Ha, ha, ha!"
- Romulus on Spaceship Leno

'It doesn't have to be this way! No one has to die!"
"HAW haw haw! Wrong."
- President Marco Rubio calling former President Obama as the Portal widens

"I can see the sex horizon."
“You fool, the boat has capsized! We’re all going to die!”
- Capt. Joe Biden and Cabin Boy Jay Carney on the ceiling of the Poseidon ballroom

1 comment: