Saturday, October 13, 2012

Bronze Medal Match

"We'll begin with a series of increasingly offensive floats, then a race over muddy lands, and finally a traditional satyricon." - Martha Raddatz

"No one cares about this structural shit. It's all about indirectly electing their dictator every four years or playing 'go team' with some shithead on cable TV." - Joe Biden

"I support Mitt Romney because I truly believe the President should be a person." - Paul Ryan

"He's like the Irish McEnroe!" - Matt Rhoades

"Ryan had no shadow when he came to the City, and when he left at dusk all the children followed him." - Bernie Hunstad, Mayor of Danville

"On the one hand, don't let the best become the enemy of the better. On the other hand, I am the enemy." - Joe Biden, Anarchists Anonymous

"Make the ants fight more and more for less and less!"
"Yes! Hiss!"
- David Koch and an anonymous blonde dressed as Gila monsters

"I am the Berlusconi of Bethany Beach." - Joe Biden

"I'm not exactly into decadence, but I'll suck on a good pair of arms." – Paul Ryan

“The flesh is in!” – David Plouffe

“Sexy sexy sexy fuckin whacked out and sexy as hell!” – Wolf Blitzer, unable to believe the feeling he’s having right now

“Luv is real, I've felt it. It’s a pill you can take, John Boehner put one on my tongue in Berlin and I woke up in Utrecht!” - Paul Ryan

“Ryan’s a chick, man, he’s a weird chick!” - Chris Matthews

"On the one hand, I want to say that we are all bisexual in the kind-of-Freudian sense that we are all fundamentally sexual creatures, that sex and desire are always there, lurking somewhere in every relationship we have to other humans; that we possess sexual urges far in excess of the what mere reproduction requires, urges that seek out ever new pleasures, ever more challenging and ecstatic forms of expression, fundamentally indifferent to the gender or even species of our sexual partners. Then again, I also want to say that there is no such thing as a bisexual because, I think, at the end of the day, whether as a result of our genes or just of personal experience, everybody has a preference." - Joe Biden wins the debate

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