Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Evan: you can't hate on that new michael cera movie?
i sure can

me: lol

Evan: damn what hot tub garbage

me: i'm not saying i can't hate onit
i'm saying it appealed to me

Evan: making fun of your last movie with your new movie does not a right make
it APPEALS to you?

me: hahaha
viscerally, i liked the flying colors and found it funny!
goddam you!
Sent at 6:59 PM on Tuesday

Evan: flying colors
'oh that was a neat idea'
that attitude is why everyone thinks fantastic mr. fox was 'pretty good actually'
Sent at 7:02 PM on Tuesday
Evan: and then calling these people autistic makes you some kind of villain

me: haha
fine you're right
thank god you called me out
Sent at 7:03 PM on Tuesday

Evan: no man you're right
criticizing EVERYTHING is sophomoric
you found the right thing to let slide
Sent at 7:05 PM on Tuesday

From the Team that Brought Us Those Quaint Race Studies Just 50 Years Ago, Harvard Psychology Presents:

Magnetism as Morality!

This is directly correlated to the findings that magnetism also improves your golf game.

(as seen in Skymall)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bartlett's Famillial Quotations

If it feels good it must be right!
- citizens of Massachusetts

It feels sort of strange when they suck your toes at first, but then you begin to like it, and miss it when it's not there...
– Lawrence Summers

Mommy, can I have some more chocolate milk? - Clarence Thomas

Keep building your condos, asshole, kiss your country goodbye.
- Joe Biden

Ted was the last politician we could trust. – Bill Ayers

To kill a monster you must become it. - Barbara Bush

Participation is poverty. - (p)resident Harold Ford, Jr.

Well Wilbur, if we incorporated the principles of a birds wing, and stretched the skins of forty natives over the frame, we just might be able to get this thing off of the ground. – Orville Wright

You see, what really interests me is the chance to function as an object of abuse and sexual desire of a Man twice my age, a prop in the story of His personal rejuvenation. - Greta Gerwig/Maggie Gyllenhaal

I can think of no better proof of the People's lack of ability to rule themselves than the success of Avatar. - Gov. Phil Bredesen

I am Homo aestheticus! - Nicolas Cage

I am the sea foam on a cresting wave of stimulants! – Charlie Rose
Please, Sr. Rose, get down off of the table! - Javier Bardem

We did it!* - House Democrats

Once I washed with a sponge, but now I'm content to use a smooth stone. - Bart Stupak

...things that do not interest me and their opposites

"20 Jan 1997:

almost didn't get a chance to write today on account of the holiday. thinking a lot lately about what do i REALLY want? thought this would help:

things that do not interest me and their opposites:

home ownership / apartment rental; biological children / adoption; marriage / camaraderie; the continuation of American political military and economic hegemony / leadership by example; waged labor / lassitude; tort reform / justice; freedom to choose my healthcare provider / provision of healthcare along the same lines as utilities; deportation or preventing entry of illegal immigrants / creating the conditions where people are not compelled to escape their country; prison / decriminalization; marijuana / sharpness of mind; sex / art; happiness / purpose; free markets / fair markets; The Democratic Party / equality; nationalism / globalism; electronic gadgets / books; television / cinema; identity politics / universalism; the potential of the internet to do anything good / rational thought; religion / art; tarantino / kiarostami; pop / jazz; jazz guitar / coltrane; yoga / boxing; secular humanism / superhumanism; theater / literature; humanitarian aid / fair trade; teach for america / education reform; peace corps / democratic development; preserving current high salaries for doctors / state funding of medical school; political art / good art; health / intensity; suburbs / cities; moralism / nihilism; self-interest / egalitarianism; productive society / beautiful society."

- from the diary of Illinois State Senator Barack Hussein Obama II of the 13th District

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Congressional Republicans

who converse mildly, did not draw these letters.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Mother of Pearl

Once again the New York Times, that punching bag rag, really wants to tell you about their latest personal growth, a newly acquired taste that anyone with a throbbing member in search of a non-reproductive mate swinging between their legs has been licking for years.