"I love it when a status quo comes together." - Democracy
“Oh my God, it's 1968 all over again. They're booing! Don't you understand? They're booing!” - Neera Tanden
“Liberals are only good for emboldening the Left. People need rising expectations and then the frustration. Believe me, like anyone I wish the rev were as easy as voting for a white guy from Vermont.” - Fidel
“Hillary is evil, Trump is evil, and America has enough resources to kick the can down the road indefinitely. This is the real world that we live in.” - Brian Williams on an empty sound stage, the only place he can’t lie
“To be honest I think that causing thousands of young people to become disillusioned with democracy is the best thing I could have done.” - Bernie Sanders
Leaked DNC Voicemails Reveal 'Appalling Lack of Sexual Fulfillment'
"At midnight Hillary is going to turn off the Suppression Field for an hour!"
“I tell you, now that Republicans have dissolved into the one-issue white hysteria party, we may just become the Official Party of Capital rather than a mere branch of the Duality, and a digital sex orgy is not out of the question.”
- Joe Kennedy, Harry Reid
"Let's hear it for the Hillary Men!"
"Pass the cucumber water!"
“This is fucking Dad-topia!”
“I haven't been this happy since Windows 95 came out!”
- Terry McAuliffe, Huma Abedein, Tom Daschle, and Lincoln Chafee at the UberEATS Watch Party
"Man, it's going to be ugly when they find out I can't speak Spanish." - Tim Kaine
“We are going to wrap the world in plastic and preserve it as it has always been!” - Hillary Clinton
"I'm here tonight to overshadow DeBlasio and personally shame the giant." - Bloomberg
"Hillary will have to controul Bill. Sheel havtah controul the entourage, sheel havtah controul the Foundation, and she'll have to stop the President's secret war with Qatar ovah soccah." - James Carville
"What if we fuck right now?“I was in the grocery store, and I heard the Zin whistle.” - Lodi Clinton warming up
What if we fucked right in the middle
Of this mothafuckin' dinner table?
What if we fucked at this vogue party?
Would we be the life of the whole Party?
Shut down the whole Party
Would everybody start fuckin'?
Would everybody start fuckin'?
Would everybody start fuckin'?
They don't want nothin'."
- Bernie's internal monologue at the DNC
“My favorite kind of shirts change colors in the sun.” - Radiant Clinton
"...and then Hillary said: 'We can do this! We can save the Earth!' And I beat the impeachment." - Billy Blythe, hittin’ stride
"I am that First Husband." - Clinton Triumphant
"The way Bill is talking about Hillary's achievements is incredible. More rapists need to talk about women like this." - Twitter
“Am I blind, or is America?” - Bill Cosby
“Hillary is your killer, folks.” - Obama
"Go on. Believe the beautiful lies of this handsome smiling man and condemn your children."
"Say what you want, the People still want to fuck Obama. So do you."
- Morrissey and Paul Krugman
“We're even now, you goddamn greasy hicks."
“Aren’t you wonderful?! You’re my favorite one now!”
- Obama and Clinton backstage
“Rivers of blood now, rivers of blood forever!” - Leon Panetta
“The only thing that draws me back from the event horizon of permanent despair is the hope that this mass demobilization campaign which we call an ‘election’ represents the last stand of two soon to be obsolete demographics: whites and baby boomers.” - Chelsea Clinton
"Balloons!" - Tim Kaine