Sunday, October 31, 2010

Why does Cristina look like she's in a zombie film?

Because she's in Argentina in the 70's.

Hollow Woman

"The airship is burning!"
"They always do if there's a woman on board."
- Theobald von Bethmann Hollweg, Manfred Albrecht von Richthofen
O look, my Self-Regard runneth over!
Shall I give the Thorn of Pity to the
Pig or to the Wretch?

- Woman
"There is no Garbo, there is no Dietrich, there is only Louise Brooks!" - Henri Langlois

"There is no Louise Brooks." - Louise Brooks

"Some one who sacrifices their own potential for greatness in order to destroy yours: that is a wife." - August Strindberg

"My bitch gotta eat!" - Chief Justice John Roberts on Judicial Pay

"Women never really get ahead because each generation of women is too busy warring with the last and unknowingly sowing their doom with the next. There are women who say 'fuck this' and try to make their own way, but they end up either aping men or living as mere individuals." - Condaleeza Rice

"There should be more comity between the genders as both are equally miserable. But women are far better at rationalizing their doom, and that is why misogyny must be practiced at least occasionally." - Abraham Lincoln

"I regret everything." - Edith Piaf

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Only Worthy Opponent Was Myself

"In times of peace the warlike man attacks himself." - Eliot Spitzer

"What strange new hell is this?" - Barack Obama, 4 July 1998
Nation Runs Back to Kanye like Rihanna to Chris Brown
- USA Today
"Comparing an artist to Andy Warhol is like finishing a game of pool in which some one has already sunk the eight-ball." - Andy Warhol
"There's a strange footnote in that case where Justice Thomas admits perjury."
"What case?"
"Bush v. Gore"
- Charlie Rose to Jeffrey Rosen
"Supreme Court transcripts are hilarious. Those people really need to go to the guillotine." -Former Solicitor General Ted Olson

"It feels so good not to be a nigger any more." - Juan Williams
Q: What did the foetus say to the teen mother?
A: Abort me.
"I set my law degree on fire to work for a comedy magazine!" - Editors of The Onion

Harmless, Beautiful, Proper, and Praiseworthy

"Everyone talks about 'black comedians' and 'black comedy', 'Hispanic comedians' and 'Hispanic comedy.' But White Comedy definitely exists, and it definitely sucks." - Henry Louis Gates Jr.

"I'd say the worst part of white comedy is the impressions. There are some geniuses out there, but they transcend the category. I'm talking about shit like Saturday Night Live. Faded facsimiles passing for wit. Black comedians have nothing to imitate. Are there any black people worth imitating? And every body else is off limits because audiences can't get past the color of your skin. That sets you free from "getting it right" and lets you just be funny. But then again maybe imitation is the only thing black comedians ever do. They imitate black people." - Tracy Morgan

"I'm cashing in." - Tyler Perry on For Colored Girls

"Black comedians are all too reliant on irritating catch phrases and bug-eyed, shit-eating grins. Sure. But white comedians are far more degenerate. All they do is explain why they're so goddamn funny. 'Am I right?'" - Jimmy Carter

"I watch a black comedian and I'm having so much fun it makes me feel like I'm funny too. I'm watching a white comedian and all I'm thinking is 'Gee, aren't I smart?'" - Dave Chappelle

"Jewish comedians : Black comedians :: Jewish Marxists : Black Marxists" - Wyatt Cenac

JLG: The Rat King, Act I

"Fuck yourself with your logic." - LEMMY CAUTION

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Exit the King

May his ghost haunt the IMF/World Bank forever!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Never Again, Again

"I rule this land as the last Alexander!" - Bibi the Great

"Diversity isn't a joke: it's a demographic." - Pat Buchanan

"The establishment of Palestine will require the carrot of anti-Semitism and the stick of liberalism." - Jimmy Carter

"One State, from the river to the sea, Israelis and Palestinians, Jews, Muslims, and Christians all living together in peace." - Avigdor Lieberman

"A pen, a pen, my kingdom for a pen!" - ישוע מנצרת

"What words to speak when blogs alone remain?" - Peter Beinart

"The system is greater than the people who run it: that is modernity. A tyranny is only as good as the people who run it." - Marcus Arelius

"Can I interest you in a pamphlet? Or would you prefer to join my revolution outright?" - The Editors

United States Deptartment of Energy 2011 National Science Bowl

Q: Why do anything?
A: 1) Self-interest. 2) For the hell of it.

Q: What is it that the Whites most love and most fear?
A: Scarcity.

Q: Let's talk about women.
A: I'd rather not.

Q: Who controls whether my love is real?
A: Tyroogle. (The Tyrant Cardinal Google)

Q: How does the Federal Reserve balance her books?
A: Lust.

Q: What is the secret to Blues Happiness?
A: Lecherous ramblin' ease.

Q: Whither communism?
A: Capitalism.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

For the Screen Is Greater than Our Lives

"Anyone who tells you they hate going to movies alone actually hates movies." - Roger Ebert

"The guy is so Irish, he's Italian." - Lee Marvin on John Ford

"All cinema should end with horrific ambiguity, justified doom, or pithy and charming stupidity." - Anthony Mann

"That scene of me kissing Ellen Page took 500 takes to be believable for an 'awake' person." - J.G. Levitt

"I put it on some weird pedestal, when really it's like taking out the trash: you just do it." - Penelope Cruz on sex

"One day people will say, 'this is the worst thing to happen to women since Mad Men.'" - John Hamm

"Citizen Kane: Blood and Sugar Cane 3D coming in 2011"
- Ariel Regional Center for the Performing Arts inaugural season

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Jimmy McMillan is the man to lead New York

On Nov. 2, New Yorkers will make one of the most important choices for their State and destiny, before Manhattan forever tumbles into the sea. Their choice ought to be Jimmy McMillan.

We don't agree with him on every issue. We disagree with him that the word "damn" cannot be found anywhere in the King James Bible. What is compelling about Mr. McMillan is he knows one simple truth: The Rent is Too Damn High. Put simply, he can be trusted to make informal decisions based on the best interest of his state, come hell or some strange new hell.

McMillan is pro-love, always has been. He fights poverty and cynical apathy on a daily basis. With his Lieutenant Governor/Enforcer/Center-Left Democratic Cipher Andrew Cuomo, he'll thrash the Legislature like a vicious and loathsome cur.

We've known Jimmy a sufficient 2 days to believe in all he stands for. So Ponder this:

"McMillan's first run for political office came in 1993, when he ran for mayor of New York as an Independent. In the course of that campaign, McMillan was at one point tied to a tree and doused with gasoline; he would later climb the Brooklyn Bridge and refuse to come down from it unless television stations broadcast his message. He was ultimately disqualified from the ballot for coming 300 petition signatures short of the 7,500 needed to qualify for the general election ballot."

What Becomes a Legend Most?

McMillan/Cuomo for NY 2010

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Burn the Ships

"I have no doubt that the current mentality of 'Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost' will end, for were it to continue indefinitely the devil would surely take us all. Though we would probably deserve it, we are too self-interested, if not too smart, to allow that to happen. There is only one 'market solution': calamitous scarcity blackmailing us into changing our ways, into putting the common good before ourselves as individuals. But there is another way. To let ourselves be led by the mailed hand of a wise and benevolent tyrant. We have a choice: Malthus, or Wen Jiabao." - Wen Jiabao

"If the working man is to be a whore he shall be a high priced whore and I his magnificent pimp." - Henry Ford

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Lenin: Prom King

Metal churns.
Heavenly manna:
- from Thirty Three Odes to a Canary by Sebastián Piñera

"Implementing 'sustainable development' as enforced by the World Climate and Environmental Justice Tribunal will amount to euthanizing the global economy precisely as we are experiencing the greatest population boom in history, concentrated almost entirely in the burgeoning metropolises of the global South. This will induce an artificial crises of overproduction--of human labor. The inevitable solution will be the genocide of the Brown."
- Evo Morales, 2010 United Nations Convention on Climate Change

"I am the lipstick pig!"
- Vladimir Putin

"The best a man can hope for is not to drown in pig shit."
- Barack Obama, on quitting smoking

"I can't argue my point further, judge, because I love you!"
- Kenneth Starr to Justice Samuel Alito during Oral Argument

"Badfinger really fell apart when Lenin left."
"What the fuck is Badfinger?"
- George Harrison and John Lennon, 1992

"Inception was overrated and banal, using pretty visuals to hide the empty vision of a director who does not know how to dream.  The Social Network, on the other hand, lays bare the alienation and misanthropy required of a man who wishes to change our digital world.  It celebrates the void of the Giver after the delivery of his gift.  It is a masterpiece."  - Osama Bin Laden

"District 9 : Avatar :: Catfish : The Social Network" - Roger Ebert

"Lie to Me > House" - Armond White

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Friday, October 15, 2010

Kill Without Hate, Love Without Mercy

"His greatest mistake was not to prosecute the Bush administration for war crimes, for that would have allowed him to consolidate his power. Instead he chose a myth. Instead he chose Void. Terror unites, consensus divides." - Wen Jiabao
Q: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?
A: On fire.
"One man's limb-hacking is another man's Pilot Oil."
- Freedom v. Death, 666 S. Ct. XXX, at $ (holding that all men are united by the whip)

'In French one says "J'ai raison", "I have Reason." In English you say "I'm Right." I like that better.' - BHL
Q: What does the future hold?
A: The Palestinians will win.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

If You Have Read These Entries, You're Lying

There Are No Legitimate Emotions
River of Shit
Millenarian Despair
Against Democracy
To My Dismay, I Woke Up
The Price of Heraldry
Christ is the Anti-Christ
Gentlemen of Harvard
Hate Ransom
Apocalypse Deferred
Bottomless Pit
United Fucking States of Godamnerica

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sludge Dog, Gin Truth

"I just hope that I can learn to have sex with Jesus watching."
- Viktor Orbán

"Your heart has to burn with patriotism to make love to your enemy." - James Carville

"New York, that evil bitch goddess demon, on all fours with that fuck-me stare." - Mike Bloomberg

"I couldn't care less about jihad or the people who oppose it."
- Geert Wilders

"I am what Coolidge couldn't desire to be!" -Mitt Romney

"Stephen King is the novel's Steven Spielberg." - Steven Spielberg

"I'm tired of being Jewish." - Steven Speilberg, on Munich

"I would like people to think that I am as quick and clever and charming as the characters I write." - Aaron Sorkin

"I just shat myself!" - Jonathan Franzen

"I can't shit!" - Roger Ailes

"She brought all these friends of hers over. While she was out getting a baguette, I shat on them!" - Camus

Monday, October 11, 2010

Organizations with Known Links to Hamas

Cordoba Initiative
The International Red Crescent
Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea
Iranian Revolutionary Guard
Campbell's Soup
Technology Entertainment Design
The Economist
International Monetary Fund
The American Association of Ice Fisherman
The One Eyed Monks of Azaul
The Ford Foundation
National Board of Ophthalmology
Patrolmen's Benevolent Association of the City of New York
National Audobon Society
the Bilderberg Group
The Charlie Rose Show
Rotary International
Jews for Jesus

Thursday, October 7, 2010


"Humanitarian aid fulfills every redblooded Frenchman's innate, racial desire to keep Africans as pets." - Bernard Kouchner

"Am I saying that this little girl should die? Yes, absolutely." - Bill Clinton, on his opposition to humanitarian aid

"I tell you this not to disillusion you, but to prepare you, to inform you of what you must become if you are to make of this weary life one as may rightly be called ‘worth living’. For every coward in this world, for every swine, there is another coward, another swine. For any person of any talent, any person of any potential worth whatsoever-—as I am to assume each of you are—-there is no one. You are utterly alone." - Margaret Thatcher, commencement speech at All Souls College, Oxford, 1985

"My body is a prison." - Margaret Thatcher, 2010

"Dad, stop!" - Mackenzie Philips

"Dad, stop!" - John Philips

"You know, if you really want to challenge yourself, you'll make a post that only says nice things." - The Editors

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Everything is Black

"It's very easy to play the bad guy: you just stop pretending."
- Bryan Cranston

"In the 90's I dated this British girl who called me 'the Sean Bean of the bedroom'. What the fuck was that supposed to mean?"
- Barack Obama to David Cameron, before declaring war on Iran, 2012

"I don't know what the hell happened we just all took the stage and sang." - Robert Mitchum reminiscing on September 11, 1973 in Santiago

"What about video games?" - Charlie Rose

"wilson pickett's hey jude > you can't always get what you want > memory of a free festival > anything by the faces > hey jude" - from the diary of Ringo Starr

"Sunday is more itself than any other day." - Jonathan Safran Foer

"Brown is the new White." - Thandie Newton

"It's weird though, I got this n + 1 tattoo near my anus and I've sort of been exercising lately and I think the tattoo has been sucked up into my sphincter. You know how that is, right?" - The Editors

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Gag Order

"I had a filthy dream about you. You were trying to violently seduce me in a pig sty, knee deep in mud and excrement. I think we may also have been related." - Tzipi Livni in an undated letter to Benjamin Netanyahu

"You can't shoot me, it's almost time for ice-cream!" - Ronald Reagan

"Whoa, Pat take it easy!"
"But Jimminy the hate tastes like Kool-Aid and I never get the headaches!"
- Spiro Agnew and Patricia Nixon

"The more depressed I am, the more free I am, for the more I suffer, the less I have to lose." - Barack Obama

"Q: If you want to change everything where do you begin?
A: Everywhere."
- US Dept. of Energy 2010 National Science Bowl semifinals

"Who could bring a child into a world like this?" - Ellen Page

"I can't go on. I'll go on." - Jeffrey Dahmer

"Goddam, how did it get to be eleven? I am so miserable and alone." - The Editors