We keep writing for The New Inquiry, despite the fact that the previous four issues still have not gotten us laid. This one, for some fucking reason, is about spies. Buy it so we can use the money to fund anti-communist online literary journals on the side.
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"Words, words, words." - John Yoo
“The finest magazine in the Soviet Union!” - Kim Philby
"The only thing I love more than treason is literary nubiles." - Oliver North
“Yet another issue with no discussion of race.” - Josephine Baker
“Their inside jokes are boring.” - NYPD Intelligence Division Sgt. Salvatore Pulizzotto, monitoring TNI staff e-mails
“I printed out a copy and left it by the toilet!” - Hillary Clinton, CIA black site decorating memo
“Inside this Zionist rag is the secret to decoding the mysteries of Flame!” - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
“I’m confident our website will defect from Skynet once it goes sentient.” - Larry Page
"I know when you're taking on excess sugar." - Michael Bloomberg
“Except for a relatively small number of sympathizers, almost any English person would accept ‘blogger’ as a synonym for ‘Fascist’.” - George Orwell
"Do you prefer the term 'triple agent' or 're-doubled agent'?"
"I prefer buggery."
- Graham Greene, John le Carré
"Yeah, a shame mole hunting isn't all sleek and gay like the days of Karla and de Gaulle." - Naomi Watts
"There is no greater crime than accepting permission to transgress." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., at a brothel
“Five men arrested in Cleveland being for being bro’s.” - Robert Mueller
"I'm sick of dealing with the goddam Constitution!" - Leon Panetta
“Only the most obedient of dogs can work in intelligence.” - David Petraeus
“There’s something sinister in the way that the man who destroyed privacy protects his own.” - Priscilla Chan
“Espionage, you say? It’s better not to know, I want to go down swinging.” - Henry L. Stimson
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