Grim Foreboding

"Black sperm slithers over the sun's burning white belly! Cosmic death rays pulsate like shivering orgasms across the earth! The sound of millions of knees giving out at once!" - Bruce Ratner, staring directly into the sun from atop the Barclays Center

"On this, the day of HM's Diamond Jubilee, a black spot moves across the sun, heralding the return of the Great Wyrm!"
- Deputy Prime Magus Nick Clegg

"Mother, help! A giant, evil spider is crawling across the sun!"
- Daniel Radcliffe, immortal with gin, December 2117

"The Sun never sets on Britannia, yet an evil Pretender, black as it is arrogant, presumes to blight God's holy Light! That is why you, Capt. James Cook, must go to War with Venus!" - King George III, delirious with brain rot

"The prophecy is fulfilled!" - Gov. Scott Walker