Saturday, June 2, 2012

How It Should Have Been

Five hundred posts, five hundred regrets. We'd like to thank everything that ever let us down, including the Arab Spring, the Winter War, the Old Left, the New Inquiry, Rob Lowe, Jimmy Carter, the 2012 Republican primary candidates, Pharaoh Bloomberg, Ray Kelly Tyrannis, Barack Obama, the Beatles, and every woman we've ever loved.

"I just want to tell everyone, I'm sorry." - George W. Bush, 2007 State of the Union Address

"The world is not worth saving." - Occupy Wall Street

"Why stop now?" - General William Tecumseh Sherman

"It is with a humble heart and this indestructible cyborg body that I gladly accept your nomination for President of the United States." - Dick Cheney, 2008 Republican National Convention

"Get the fuck out of here and never come back!" - Michelle Obama casting Larry Summers out of Washington D.C.

"Never wash again! Let's turn Midtown into an endless pool party!" - NYC Mayor and Park Supervisor for Life Bill Clinton

"Nah thanks, man, I'm good." - Keith Moon, 1978

"We've lost all contact. He's gone." - Command Post Alpha, receiving data that the Mariana Trench has collapsed, sealing James Cameron inside

"These quotes are fun, but let's just take pictures of what we order when we go out to dinner instead." - The Editors, 2010

"Blogs are for shit heads, let's travel the universe together." - Mark Twain to the Editors in a Jade Zeppelin

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