Monday, January 23, 2012

South Carolina Piedmont Massacre

"I have swam your beaches and fucked your daughters and drunk your iced tea. South Carolina, you're welcome." - Newt Gin Ginch

“This is the only job I’ve ever had and I hate it.” – Willard Romney privately to George Stephanopolous on running for president

“I’ll be candid: I get far more pleasure out of denying others than gratifying myself.” – the Ginch

"You're a damn shit peddler and everyone can see it." - Willard Romney to the Historian at the Ft. Sumter/BP Debate

“It’s been incredibly stimulating.” – Callista Ginch on the effect of the campaign on her sex life

"Put that sun oil on your back, Sweet Callista, tonight we ride to victory." - the Ginch

“Yeah, those were some heady times.” – Biggerhead Penis Enlargement spokesperson Rick Parry, 2027

"Well then, bring me your wife!" - Newt Gingrich to John King, CNN/Beer Light Debate

“No, I don’t own an iPhone, I accept the limits of human understanding and display humility before my God.” – Rick Santorum asked to look up the only country without an active volcano on Trivia Night at Margaritaville, Myrtle Beach, SC

"The problem with sex on the beach is sand gets everywhere, you people should really do something about that." - Ginch explaining his new jobs program for blacks

“I’ll be the hick and you’ll be the egghead, it will be like Bushy and Turdblossom but in reverse.” – Parry fishing for an invitation to the Ginch administration

"Don't help me! I can do it myself!" - Ginch from toilet to Callista, Holiday Inn, Tampa, FL

"Two Catholics and a Morman, we have become the party of Mammon." -Billy Graham Jr., Bitchup's Grin, Missouri
This I play
Thinking of days
Well gone by.

-Rick Perry, ukulele in hand by Piss Creek
"When they write this time in History, let them say that I wanted to end it all the quickest." - Rep. Dr. Ron Paul

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