"Forget it, dude. She's in the service industry." - your friend on why you'll never sleep with the barista
"I dreamt of a higher wall, one beyond that which encircles Town! The Seer said that it was but a wall of the mind, a false creation proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain, but I am certain it was real! O concrete mother! O iron womb! Crush me with your opaque embrace! " - Gabriel Santorum
"Dip your strong, stubby fingers in my back and swirl me around like pudding." - Joe Lieberman to Mitch McConnell, Dupont Circle Baths
Q: What if Chuck Palahniuk were a French intellectual?"You're a brute."
A: Michel Houellebecq
"Women love brutes."
"Women are disgusting."
- Richard Dawkins, a footballer
"I'm so existentially horny!" - Justice John Paul Stevens
"You've got to fuck like the Conqueror, the Actor, or the Actuary." - the Ginch
"Maybe together we could be less lonely."
"I'm afraid loneliness isn't like that. Loneliness is absolute, inviolable. And it lasts forever."
- 1st chair French hornist of the Whitehall Memorial Highschool Band to Callista Gingrich, 1980
"I don't know if I can accept this, it seems like the same old Fuck. We need a new kind of Fucking.""Sandbagged by fear, muscles clench like boa constrictors, electric eels, or his whole contents go spilling out in a black puddle on the concrete floor. He wants to sing but his heart is caught in his throat, the whole instrument stiff with mute vibration. And if it did dislodge, what would come out? The words of a talking animal. Feelings of the kind one can never take back. An invitation for airstrike. So he keeps his trap shut, and a lifetime of regret flashes before his eyes. Just do it, you coward. Hable con ella. Fuck forever and never die." - Rick Parry, In Praise of Fuck
"Damn it, Roosevelt, you're mad!"
"The sun sets. Nothing can stop it." - Capt. Francesco Schettino
"Just break up already." - a drunk Barack Obama to his entire e-mail contacts list