Monday, August 1, 2011

Manufactured and Unnecessary

"Hey, it's gonna work out, man, Giffords is here!"
"Wait, is that Pee-wee Herman?"
"Yeah! And Kurt Russell too!"
- Steny Hoyer and Jimmy Duncan

"Nothing like a good 'crisis,' right, Eric?" - Mitch McConnell breastfeeding Eric Cantor, Chaff Gardens, Bohemian Grove

"Can a man kill History as he would a Beast?" - Steve King to his astrologer

"The Legislative Branch brings to mind nothing less than a naked old man in a bathtub being attacked by a bat during a power outage." - George McGovern

"Am I Lula or just Paul Krugman?" - Barack Obama

"Today, I used a Canadian quarter to buy a slice and spent the rest of day in bed overcome with guilt, I thought I was going to die." - Paul Krugman

"Our only hope now is to build a giant abacus of skulls and drown our daughters in the sea." - Warren Buffet

"Unngghh, unngghhh, uuhhhh!!! The Light! Put it out!!!" - Michelle Bachmann enduring a crippling migraine

"I'll see you all next year at Beaver Creek!" - John Boehner from the deck of the USS Coconut, 112th Congress Send-Off Cruise

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