Friday, January 7, 2011

News Corp World Classics

Dear Mr Murdoch:

Due to our success with the new Citizen's Cut of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain we have prepared a host of other classics that will be more appropriate for a clean and healthy education. Hopefully this meets with the approval of you and Mrs. Gradenko.

The Publishing Corp

Lady Chatterly’s Woopy Hand by D.H. Lawrence

"Boy he sure was fond of that girl named Kiki."
- William Burrough’s dry noir: Naked Hunch

Airport by Elie Wiesel

"Anne Frank was a shy girl. She didn't leave the house much as she feared getting picked on by the Nasties." - The Diary of Anne Frank

The Beatles’ White Album

Deflation and Strategic Re-branding
by Leo Tolstoy

Stability by Rainer Maria Rilke

Great Stalin and the Grateful People by Mikhail Bulgakov

"And on that glorious day Harold Bloom converted to the One True Faith of Catholicism and spent his days faithfully serving H.R.H. Stephen Daedalus learned his lesson and would always carry a handkerchief on the beach." - James Joyce, Ulysses

The Pleasure of Finding Things Out by Fernando Pessoa

Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglas: An American Car Dealership

Fresno Beach Party
by Frank Miller

120 Days of Lent
- Father Sade

"Life for all us folks in Chicago can be pretty tough sometimes, but everything might work out just dandy if we all pitch in and do our part! Go cubs!" - Richard Wright, Native Son

"Takin' up the game of golf has really kept my mind from wanderin'." - Humbert Humbert

1 comment:

  1. Why It's Good That We Are In Vietnam- Norman Mailer

    "After coming home from the Feelies, John took a particularly large dose of Soma, as the doctor recommended, and he felt better. He just kept doing that every night, and he didn't worry anymore, ever again, until his happy, peaceful death." -Brave New World, Aldous Huxley

    Completely Heterosexual Honeymoon in Venice- Thomas Mann