Monday, December 27, 2010

I Don't Want to Die in China

"What do you mean you didn't bring any jade?" - Hu Jintao to George W. Bush

"I've found a deep reservoir of evil in my soul. When I touch it turns to misty vapor which smells of jasmine." - Evan Osnos

"Mr. Zuckerberg, your appetite outpaces even what Macau can offer!" - Justin Yifu Lin

"Instead of allowing our currency to rise as the Americans wish, I propose pegging it to the lust of our women." - Xie Xuren

"My only problem with China is they never pick up the tip." - State Peace and Development Council of Burma

"Taiwan is nothing to me but a decadent Nantucket." - George H.W. Bush

"You should see my twisted feet!" - Jackie Chan

"Without rare earths our mecha are useless! All is lost! Let the dolphins go and stop pushing people into trains for we are as the dust now!" - Japan

"China offered me jade, but America offered me a book deal." - Julian Assange

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