"If giant spiders came out of the ground, are a bunch of fairies and women going to stop them?" - Lindsey Graham looks beyond the headlines
"Listen, I'll kill all those motherfuckers, whatever, trust me." - John Brennan
"Don't worry, they're bad guys." - the President on literally whomever he wants
"Haw haw haw, son boy, CUT HIM DOWN!" - Secretary of Homeland Security Pa
"Cybergenocide!" - Barack Obama joins with the Algorithm
"I may be, at times, an unethical human being, but never an unethical employee." - Predator Drone UV-987X
"Self-incrimination is the only possible kind, for a man's deeds are only criminal if he regards them as such." - Eric Holder
"If a man is sufficiently boring, he can overtake morality as the tortoise does the hare." - Al Gore
"A country not founded on genocide is no country at all." - Alan Dershowitz
"Being occupied is like dating a rich, handsome older man who always orders for your when you go out to eat." - Judith Butler explaining American foreign policy to Lena Dunham in terms she can understand
"If we allow open homosexuals into the Scouts, then all of our years of sublimation will be for naught, and the practice of Greek love among our ranks, drained of its delectation." - Hector A. "Tico" Perez
"I'm not unlucky in love: I'm a conscientious objector." - Gilberto Valle
Lady prosecutor,"Cops all over America are watching Zero Dark Thirty, and they're seeing those scenes with the CIA guy so calm, so cool, so utterly in control, torturing Muslims as he calls them 'bro,' and they're thinking, 'If only they'd let me do that, our troubles here would be over very quickly.' They are right." - Wang Lijun
My love for you's a crime,
Wrap your laws around me,
Make me do my time
Coz I'm guilty, guilty,
Guilty as charged,
Yeah, I'm guilty, guilty,
Guilty as charged!
- John Yoo, War Crimes of the Heart
"Better to deal drugs, kill pigs, and die in the streets than join up, kill Muslims, and die in the sand." - Christopher Dorner
"I look at our prisons, and I don't see jailed blacks. I see safe Jews." - Ed Koch
"Sure, I eat muff, but in my heart of hearts, I'm an evil Irish cop." - Christine Quinn
"When I watch two lesbians going at it, it reminds me of nothing so much as pigs feeding at trough, only pigs do not lower themselves with gratitude to the trough." - Michael Bloomberg
"Much more important to me than being gay is being a conventionally powerful man." - Ed Koch
"Ray Kelly's asshole tastes like pecans." - Jon Stewart
"That ol' blog a yourn just don't fuck like she used ter." - Kevin Spacey
"You boys have perfected the art of regression!" - 43
You know, if the real GOP were as concerned about the radioactive giant-arthropod spacepocalypse as they are on this blog, I'd probably vote for them.
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