Thursday, May 24, 2012

"Facebook To Buy World Tulip Industry"

"I'm married now, it's in the hands of the shareholders." - a tranquil Zuck

"Like my dick book! I'm Spider-Man!" - Eduaro Saverin legless and blind on the streets of Singapore

"I don't need to know him personally. Any rich, non-productive individual with a thirst for gold and a pathological distaste for the welfare of his fellow man will always have a friend in me." - Grover Norquist, not noticing Chuck Schumer coming from behind

"Traitor? Coward? Listen, it's standard operating procedure, Mark Zuckerberg makes you rich and you flee the country." - Jamie Dimon in North Korea

"No, no, I'm here for the money." - Bono, NASDAQ

"Yeah, we should probably review that or something, maybe settle. Honestly, I'm not even sure if we have a Facebook page." - Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Mary Schapiro

"There's no revenue, Timmy, it's only a matter of time." - Sheryl Sandberg to the assembled children of Palo Alto

"Muahaha, the emperor has has no clothes! Impropriety! Inflated value! Fuck uppery! It's like the late 90's again all in one company! Gamble if you want to win!" - Larry Kramer in a long car to a prostitute of indefinite value

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