Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Flavor of Suspicion

Study of Perspective - Essex and Delancey, Ai Weiwei, 2012

"I condemn these police from New York in the most general and sanctimonious of terms." - Wizard of Yale University Richard Hawkcloak

“We have an obligation, and it is to protect the very things that let Yale survive. The American Way of Life, sure, but also all the lawyers and financiers with Yale diplomas on their walls in Manhattan. Let’s not forget, Yale owes its clean toilets and Halal dining options to these people, and these people live and work in the places that terrorists love to blow up. I’d like to hear the university keep whining when half its endowment goes up in flames at the hands of one of its own precious diversity-boosters. It’s the same thing Ray and I keep having to tell the blacks and Latinos when they complain about the stop 'n' frisks: don’t you understand we’re just protecting you from yourselves?” - Michael Bloomberg

"You don't have to be a monster to be a monster." - Ray Kelly, The Third Jihad

"All snowflakes are unique, but 90% of them are terrorists." - Paul Browne, Deputy Commissioner of Public Information

“Like the way dolphins can tell when a woman is pregnant by bouncing sonar off the bones of the fetus, we can tell when a terror plot is afoot by the density and tenderness of bones in a halal restaurant’s half chicken entree. “ – David Cohen, Deputy Commissioner of Intelligence

"NYPD Undercovers Surf Internet, Eat at Restaurants All Day on Taxpayer Dime " - The New York Post

"My God, and the whole time I thought I was just writing secret shopper reports!" - undercover officer Paulie 'Whitesauce' Giordano

“Made out with a ‘Tara,’ nineteen-year-old nutrition major of Lebanese extraction, parents from Beirut. Contrary to expectations, her braces were not an obstacle.” – undercover report F389-4 on City College Muslim Student Association whitewater rafting trip

“Just goddamn delicious.” – undercover report R861-9 on Newark Chinese-Mexican-Halal Chicken Stand

"Police overreach doesn't go nearly far enough. If you want to impose your Will upon a captive population, you have to raise up the Collaborator as the only true meritocracy your Might allows." - Ed Koch

“Secret investigation? Why didn’t they just ask?” – Mark Zuckerberg

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