Too Much Damn Love

"A woman will come forth shortly with allegations, and I wanted you to know first, Wolf, they are false." - Herman Cain on CNN, essentially

"Gold Medals!!!" - Ginger White, leaping from the high dive, 1984 Summer Olympics Qualifying Round

"I realize that both the woman's name, Ginger White, and occupation, fitness instructor, make this appear as some kind of joke, and I assure you we are treating it as such." - John Edwards, Campaign Minister of Information

"No, no, this kind of thing would never trip me up. Cain's affairs are too normal and simple, they do not challenge the imagination and he will not escape. You need to mystify them and thrill them, give them something they'd never expect and then cum all over it!" - an increasingly excited Bill Clinton eating lunch with Jon Stewart, Scores, Midtown

"People doubted whether fucking like this was possible, but now we have shown the world!" - Mark Block

"Damn, Cain, he had it all but he wanted pussy on the reg with it!"
- Rick Parry, Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness, ID

"I wanna make you scccreeeeeaaaammmm!!!!!!!"
- Herman Cain, Live in Baghdad