Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This Free Credit Report or Your Daughter?

"I'm trying to make love to him and he just sits there crying like a child. I think you know how to do it Eric but your eyes give me the gurgles." - a chain smoking President Obama to John Boehner and Eric Cantor, the Van Buren Room

"What have I got that makes you want to love me? Now is it my body? Someone I might be? Something inside me? Tell me it's up to you! Have you got the time to find out, who I really am?" - Speaker John Boehner to the Republican Study Committee

"Listen, stop this damn party right now. When shit gets expensive, you get fucked." - Lloyd Kraken to Mitchell McConnell, via Black Berry Big Beat

"I hate you father this belt belongs to me! Forget everything I just asked for, whip me with it!" - Congress without Recess

"Spending? Listen boys, every fake problem should have an equally false solution. Who you gonna call yer lover boy?" - The Chamber of Commerce to a frightened Grover Norquist and retinue

"I've only played poker with naked women, I just don't know what to do next." - Mitch McConnell found in the Senate Root Beer Room in a Raccoon Costume

"Well I'm sorry you little bitch there's just no more room in Galt Gulch." - Alan Greenspan to John Boehner at the Gate of Brass

"Hehe I'll tell ya man the whole thing is a trip. Who knew she could fly?" - J.R. Biden after dispatching fighters to intercept Michelle Bachmann over South Carolina

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