Thursday, July 7, 2011

In Praise of Fucking

"Draft me a motion to fuck!" - John Boehner

"Who am I if not the Night? Where does my Fear keep her home?!" - Scott Brown, atop the John Hancock Tower

"Man, Julia Roberts is breathtaking." - Bobby Jindall

"Be my David Koresh." - Kelley Paul

"Violence is only sex without oxytocin." - John McCain

"I will waste money on you forever." - Newt Gin-Ginch, Hooters, Columbia, SC

"Dear child, a light burns inside of you. Take this knife. Set it free." - Michelle Bachman, Scores champagne room, Ibiza

"I found the Way when my geometry teacher rejected my body flower." - Paul Ryan

"Love that goat pussy. And you thought that cheese taste good." - Saxby Chambliss

"Asian women are for white men who are too scared to fuck Hispanics." - Mark Sanford

"We shouldn't have to choose between endless war in the East and a Spanish lifegaurd's love." - Lindsay Graham

"Don't worry, gays, we will buy your freedom!" - Paul Singer

"I live for the bodies of college-aged sycophants." - Eric Cantor

"Do you think we can fuck from this height?" - Mitt Romney in Wonder Woman's invisible jet

"In a dark corner of a South Side pizzeria, a lonely young man confides in his fondest female friend about his nonexistent love life. He did not raise the subject, but he is glad that she did. They seem on the verge of saying at last what for so long has gone unsaid and then, instead, she asks if maybe he isn't just gay. An insulting dissimulation of her complicity in his loneliness. They will never speak again." - Barack Obama, Dreams from My Father

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