Friday, March 16, 2012

Primary Affliction

"You can't polish a turd... Well, you can... and, God bless South Carolina, I can do it better than any of these fucking tourists." - Newt Ginginch

"It's not about money, Marissa. There's plenty of rich men who seek political power. No, the problem is that I'm just a smug asshole." - Willard Romney to Marissa Tompkins, BUNT-TV, Denver

"Win or lose, you're going to die." - Barack Obama to a stunned Jay Carney

"I am the conventional wisdom, perfected and purified into its highest form!" - Fareed Zakharia

"When peak oil comes you stay the fuck out of Harper's yard, you mongloid!" - Lewis Lapham

"You know, a sort of sexual mixed martial arts." - Karl Rove

"Huh, I guess I never have had a Korean women, their heads look too much like cardboard boxes." - the Ginch pandering to the Asian American Federation

“Love is an alien invasion coordinated with sleeper cell revolts. Someone penetrates you and leaves behind a colony that allows the monster inside them to ventriloquize your thoughts. It’s the opportunity that that part of us which cries out to be dominated and longs to be victimized has been waiting for ever since we were born. Everyone knows the best scene in The Manchurian Candidate is the one where Frank Sinatra and Janet Leigh meet on the train. It captures the indistinguishabilty of love from brainwashing, even and especially at its inception. Love is a cancer. You can’t just cut it out. You have to poison your whole body to beat it, kill yourself just enough to keep on living. Love is White Power. Love is Vichy France.” – Rick Santorum, National Association of Women Against Women, inaugural address

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