A Post That Has Nothing To Do With Women

"For the last fucking time, I'm not Omar Sharif!" - Tariq Ali

"Yeah, he's the man with his finger on the pulse of Britain's cock."
- William Gladstone on Benjamin Disraeli

"I love it! A whole world run by Joe Bidens!" - Joe Biden, on the Wikileaks diplomatic cables

"I can see into the future with this moustache. When I saw what they did to Kafka I knew I couldn't go out like some punk bitch. That's why I sealed the autobiography for a century, and that's why you're buying it now when I knew the world would be ready for my message of socialism, pacifism, and mordant hate." - Mark Twain on Charlie Rose, Live from Delos

"Subjectivity qua synthesis of self-consciousness and action is the condition of freedom. In the hour of its great revolution against feudalism, the bourgeoisie was once a subject, a subject which made of men both great and small its errandboys and playthings. But Spectacular Capitalism has robbed the bourgeoisie of even this dignity by enslaving it to ideology. Thus the subject of History now is capitalism itself, and every man is its object. There can be no subjectivity--and thus no freedom--until there is no capitalism."
- Carla Bruni

Thy Name Is Woman

"But Hitch, people don't go to the movies on time!" - Janet Leigh

"There is nothing more insulting than a symbolic head of state asking her citizens to donate to charity." - Michelle Obama

"We get along because we never laugh." - Putin on Alina

"Why on earth in a documentary about prostitution would you show the prostitutes' faces but blur out the johns'? Shouldn't you do the opposite?" - Nicholas Kristof

"My Fuhrer, the War Against Sex is lost! Soon they shall have our skulls!"
"No you fool! A phantom army of eunuchs awaits my orders outside of Hamburg!"
- Hitler and his personal chef Wolfgang

British Apparel

"Brown women see right through me." - Prince Harry

"Harry only likes girls from Clemson." - Tim Tebow

"Oh balderdash of course I know how to bond with my youngest boy. Why on his 16th birthday we dressed up as Afghans and went to the finest brothels of Dubai." - Prince Charles

"Bring me the dick!" - Sarah Margaret Ferguson to Harry Wales, 1998

"If the Wedding does not bring the growth in GDP promised he will of course have to be killed." - PM David Cameron on Prince Harry

"Who the fuck is Harry?" - H.M.

"We're fucking!"

"Engaged? To a damn commoner?" - Winston Churchill in Hell

"I am gunpowder and the last of Arthur's seed on earth!" - Prince Harry before his execution in the Tower of London, Wedding Day

"Oy there gal, get me a packet of crisps and a pint of bitter, you dizzy piece." - Prince Charles to the Bride

"Are people really that stupid or am I just an asshole?" - Robert Gibbs at the Royal Wedding

"I personally requested that Her Majesty pay for a symbolic wedding for Jesus and I, but she refused." - Tony Blair

"Our marriage won't be yours and mum's! Our love is as real as my military service in Afghanistan!" - Lieutenant His Royal Highness William Arthur Philip Louis Mountbatten-Windsor of Wales, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter

"The wedding was gorgeous but the divorce was divine." - Kate Middleton

Let's Be Honest

"Luxury is a necessary evil." - Yasser Arafat

"Cops are the bad working class." - Ronal Serpas, PhD

"Liam Neeson is the Harrison Ford of people under 60." - Liam Neeson

"You should put more nude brown women on your blog. It would make the whole thing more transparent." - Saartjie Baartman

"Anyone to whom it occurs to talk about how cynical they themselves are is clearly not cynical enough." - Henry Luce

Gynopolis

"Look, August, this is all way more straightforward than you think."
- Gauguin to Strindberg

"The key to seduction is to give them everything they do not want and refuse them everything they do, always staying one step ahead, so that eventually you come to replace their desires with your own." - Jake Gyllenhaall

"Woman is the nigger of the world." - the racist Yoko Ono

"Natalie Portman is a Zionist myth." - Peter Beinart

"The point is not that sex is regulated but that sex is the means of regulation." - Ruth Simmons

"My god, a massive sea gull flew past the window!"
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Feargiving, Thankstaking

"Happy Thanksgiving!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
- John Wayne to Chief Dan George

"Only a parasite would refuse In-N-Out Burger." - Ayn Rand

"My shit is flat!" - Tom Friedman

"In honor of our savage conquest of the unyielding Rebel, this day shall be for ever known as Thanksgiving. All Americans of like Virtue shall gather on this day and the entrails and blood of Virginia shall be their succor." - Abraham Lincoln