Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Operation Long Jump

"It is common to say of a great man, 'Behind the myth, he was just a man.' That is not true for me. I am not 'just a man.'"
"Haw haw, did you hear that, Winnie? He's insane! Haw haw!"
- Stalin, FDR, and Churchill pounding grog at Yalta

"How crazy is he?"
"Just about crazy enough to out-crazy Hitler, I think. That's the plan anyways."
- FDR confides in Churchill

"I'll tell you one, Joe: I put my hand up Deitrich's skirt!"
"Try genocide."

"Winnie here says he doesn't like you, Joe, but I think you intimidate him! Doesn't he, Winnie? Doesn't he!"
"You will please stop hitting me in the arm, won't you, Franklin?"
"Winnie, why is it I'm always hearing about you're such a wit when you act like a damn ninny? You look like a damn turtle, you know that? He looks like a damn turtle, doesn't he, Joe?!"

"I say, Joe, if you enter the war, we can break the Japs and make real artists out of their movie men!"

"The job of most actresses is to play a man's fantasy of a woman. How do they do it, without throwing themselves off a bridge, I mean?"
- Benito Mussolini

"Well I like it, of course, but I don't think the Army is going to go for it."
- FDR after reviewing Disney's storyboards for the depopulation of Japan

"Gentleman, together we can make silence reign over the earth."
"What did he say?"
"He said we can kill them all, Winnie. Isn't that just marvelous!"

"Why, I believe I'll have the spicy pork!" - FDR is first President to go to a Korean restaurant

"Boys, I don't understand a lick of this economics or policy you're spouting but it sure goes down well with the grog!" - Our Man to the Brain Trust

FDR: "Listen to this one, Joe: Winnie here's a writer!"
CHURCHILL: "Urm, yes, quite so. Was writing a manuscript on the history of English-speaking people, but the war--"
STALIN: "I am also writing such a manuscript."
STALIN: "On the history of the Russian people. A page is written every day, in their blood, on the walls of Stalingrad."
FDR: "Who wants to see my Glenn Miller impression?!"
FDR sticks his arms out and makes airplane noises and rolls his wheelchair into the swimming pool

"Charlie here says he's got an army--an ARMY! Isn't that funny!"
"--an ARMY! Well, I tell you what, Charlie, why don't you take that army of yours and spread the Kraut's Western leg yourself and I can get back to getting handies in East Egg."
- FDR and DeGualle

"No one on that Court ever fucked a thing!" - FDR throwing an ashtray at Pa Watson

"Put some of that hot music on the Victrola and wash your sex."
- a young FDR

"Why do I have to do it, that's what I have Oppie and his harem for! Isn't that right Oppie?"
"This world is a hell, Death is out Mother, we suckle on ash."
"HAW HAW HAW! Did you hear that, Feynman?! Oppie's nuts!"

"I'd tell you not to worry, that I'd take care of it, but I... I don't think that 'worry' is something that would occur to you to do." - FDR walks in on Walt Disney chewing the neck of a dead whore at a party in East Egg

"Jesus, don't shoot him! Use the tranqs! We need him for the war!"
- FDR stops Secret Service agents from shooting a rabid Jimmy Stewart howling at the moon

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