Sunday, December 29, 2013


"I am the illusion of human agency." - the last words of Nelson Mandela

"The moment is not worth living in." -  HM after Duchess Kate shows her Snap Chat

"Reports that human life is inherently valuable could not be independently confirmed." - Reuters coverage of a drone attack on a Yemeni wedding

"The Islamicization of Europe is what those people get for letting down Communism." - Ilich Ramírez Sánchez

"You can help the poor and love everyone as a Catholic should, but the best thing is to Obey." - Pope Francis

"Come now, Mao did what any man would have done with that much power." - Jeff Bezos

"Stop gawking, now sit down and have a drink!"
"But I don't drink..."
"You do now! You'll drink if you want to be Supreme Leader."
- Chelsea Clinton and Georgina Bloomberg, Scores, Singapore

"You can't fail: you have the blood!" - Harvard Finishing School Dean of Grade Inflation

"Nothing in early adulthood is as demoralizing as watching class interest slowly impose itself on one's friends." - Lena Dunham

"I'm so important to human freedom and equality with my boring opinions and deluded self-image." - Ruth Bader Ginsburg heroically dies on the day of the inauguration of President Marco Rubio

"I'm a feminist, but I come first." - Devyani Khobragade

"Nothing a celebrity does is feminist." - Beyoncé

"I pardon your cunt." - Putin frees Pussy Riot

"My relationship to sex and violence is the same: they are all I think about, all I desire, and confronted with the opportunity to engage in either in real life, I shrink away, first in fear, then in disgust." - Cardinal Dolan to a sack of White Castle sliders

"I've always felt like sex was a club to which I was never invited and was only ever admitted to by mistake or force." - Ariel Castro

"I remember when me and Roger used to sneak under the house and read pulp novels. In a way, nothing's changed." - Bill Clinton

"Jesus, somebody get this guy a fucking treadmill." - Rafael Correa visits Julian Assange in the Embassy Taffy Room

"I'm lucky to have had the failures I've had. They enabled me to see more clearly the meaninglessness of it all, to understand, through direct, lived experience, the futility of all our efforts, the final and absolute impossibility of any hope. But this knowledge is cursed, for the same experiences that have enlightened me discredit me in the eyes of others. They think that I'm just a failure, but the truth of my failures is the failure of truth." - Al Gore

"Despair, superfluous man!" - Edward Snowden

"Hey there, corpsefucker. How's it going? Gonna fuck some corpses? Sure is a good day for corpsefucking." - Mitt Romney greets Tagg in the morning

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