Thursday, January 17, 2013

Venus, Cupid, and Mars

"Sex is real, I've seen it!" - Manti Te'o

"My real girlfriend is a hoax." - Lance Armstrong

"Is any woman really there?" - Jerry Sandusky

"Happiness is merely the momentary absence of memory." - the Catfish

"I'm in hate love!" - the Editors

"Adults don't fucking understand. Ms. Halas' tits are literally the only reason I learned a thing about chemistry." - Donny Owens, 8th grader

"Men can never hold back women the way women hold back each other." - Judge Julie Cabos-Owen

"The land belongs to the one who works it." - George Clooney, grabbing your wife's ass

"My dick is like the Concorde." - Richard Branson

"My dick is like a compass, it always points north." - Gazprom Chairman Viktor Zubkov

"My dick looks like my mother." - Vladimir Putin

"My dick? Oh no, I'm not going to tell you about it. You'll have to discover it for yourself." - Bill Clinton

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