Up For Grabs

"One day you will all be Mormons." - Mitt Romney at the Western Wall

"If the Arabs don't tear this country apart, by God we will." - Israeli settlers

"I have always loved history--I was kind of a history geek in college. One day, Israel will be regarded as a historical curiosity like the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem in the 12th Century. Boy, I wish I could be there to see that." - Peter Beinart

"Wahhhh! I'm tired!!!" - Norman Finkelstein

"You see, it's like Solomon and the baby, only they went for it." - Thomas Friedman explaining the Hamas/Fatah split to schoolchildren in Jordan

"It isn't harder to make friends than to make enemies, the outcome is just less certain." - Benjamin Netanyahu

"Don't think the Kurds are the only people I'll crush for purposes of nationalist distraction." - Recep Erdoğan to Bashar al-Assad

"You wanna get loose? I'll fucking show you loose!" - Mohammed Morsi addressing the Arab League

"There's no such thing as a civil war free from foreign intervention. Where do you think they get the guns?" - Vladimir Putin

"I feel like all the conflicts would end and the peace process would go forward if they all were wearing tuxedos." - Barbara Bush

"Secretary Clinton says that once a people wants to be free, nothing can stop them. How I wish that were true! But my experience tells me otherwise." - Hu Jintao discussing Syria with Putin in the blood sauna

"We prefer to think of it as the Middle West." - Yang Jiechi

"If these guys are 'activists' then I'm a Nobel Laureate." - Anders Breivik on the Senkaku Islands Crisis

"We're going to fuck all over these islands!" - Shintaro Ishihara, Sino-Japanese Vacation Home Wars

Neither sound nor sight
Such a sacred atmosphere
In the no-fly zone
- Gen. Stanley DarkChrystal, Western Chinese Robot Autonomous Region

"I'm so fucking hungry! I've been unemployed for three fucking years! Thank God we don't have nuclear weapons!" - the Dream Iranian

"Am I an Iranian filmmaker or am I simply a filmmaker from Iran? Am I more at home in Tehran or Paris--and what, compared to the countryside where so many of my films are set, is the difference between the two? Was Certified Copy a total piece of shit or a charming piece of shit? I hardly know myself these days. It's been a long career, and a lot of my friends are in jail. If I want to be not just the finest filmmaker of Iran, but of France and Japan also, I could probably do that. But if I just want to make something on par with a good issue of The New Yorker, well, I think I've earned that right." - Abbas Kiarostami

"Zero Dark Thirty? No, thanks. Saw that one already." - Roger Ebert