"Yeah, we all love money, baby!" - Sen. Chuck Schumer in the Sen. George McGovern Breakdance Room
"Three months of populism!" - Michelle Obama
"Fuck! This convention isn't about democracy!" - a college Democrat
"Of course I'm disappointed with Obama's performance, who isn't? But what else could he have accomplished with such Republican obstructionism? The fact is, Obama is still cleaning up George W. Bush's messes, and he needs more time to put America back on track." - Guantanamo Bay prisoner Shaker Aamer
"Elizabeth Warren will never speak with the voice of America because the voice of America is male." - the ghost of Joe Kennedy
"You think I could be President?"
"Fuck no."
- Chelsea Clinton and Jill Biden
"Hey, guys, I've got a quote for you, '"Put all the men in camps!" - Sandra Fluke.' What do you think?" - Prince Khalid bin Talal bin Abdul Aziz al Saud
"They're outside the house!" - Dinesh D'Souza fleeing with his collection of commemorative House of Windsor spoons
"Youth, diversity, enthusiasm, whatever, our convention had thirteen screens that would project the speaker's thoughts and desires." - Reince Preibus
"More ice."
"Karl, you have plenty of--"
"I said more fucking ice!... But, Jesus Christ, Clinton is tearing it up though..."
- Karl Marx with a pounding headache
"Show Clinton, show a veteran, some minorities, that hot mom... no, too long!" - NBC producer
"Because Christopher Hitchens is dead, I feel obligated to point out that Bill Clinton is probably a rapist." - Martin Amis
"And we all wanna fuck Michelle!" - New York City Park Supervisor for Life Bill Clinton
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