Eros tyrannis

"Blood affair! Phlegm marriage!" - Howard Dean

"Old flames are like cockroaches: they only show up in your bedroom to die." - Dame Judy Dench

"Don't tell Zelda about us, I love you too damn much!" - F. Scott Fitzgerald to a bottle of Campari, Florence 1924

"I am the barley, I am the plow, my body is your sacrament." -Col. Oliver North to President Ronald Reagan at Bohemian Grove

"A cock's just a stolen hubcap." - Elizabeth Taylor

"For a long time I wanted love, until I realized that others were only a mirage." - Charlie Rose

"Oh, Todd and I have never had sex in the same room." - Sarah Palin

"I would strip a bear on a January morning and lash myself with a plow whip for thy hand, Lady." - Sen. George McGovern to his wife on their 50th wedding anniversary

"We can't keep doing this indefinitely. Someday we'll have to do something that matters." - Javier Bardem,

"For me the game of love is much like hunting a man on foot with a knife. It's not over until the blade is clean." - Vladimir Putin

"Relationships are abuse." - Angela Merkel

Eat This Fruit and Ye Shall Never Be Fallow, or, Pissing Naked at Bohemian Grove

"And I believe if we stitch the corpse of every Vietnamese man, woman, and child together we can form a sufficient bridge to bring our goods to China. This gentleman is the Third Way." -Richard Nixon's "favorite speech" to the Grove, Lakeside July 1967

"You boys better start drinking or I'll take your pants off." -Justice Anthony Kennedy at the Owl Lodge, 2001

"I want a woman who would martyr herself on my emotions." - Ken Mehlman, 2002, Contra Lodge

"Oh no alcohol for me Jeff. Ever since I touched His Excellency it just tastes like lead to me, Jimminy Cricket!" -President Ronald Reagan, Carl Schmidt Smokehouse, 1984

"Then I said, 'Make me, Frank.' And he did." - Bing Crosby, Goldwater Stream, 1974

"I knew it was over when that fellow thought I was a redwood and pissed all over me." -Gov. Gray Davis, Falkland Island, 2009

"Blood in the jungle! Fungus in your veins!" - G. Gordon Liddy, at the Jonas Savimbi Bird Sanctuary, 1988

"What the fizz am I doing here?" -Louis Armstrong at the Hounds Head Lodge, 1947

"They're just a bunch of fags." - Clint Eastwood

"Is there nothing for my hands to feel and fondle?" -Gov Schwarzenegger at the Panamanian Gazebo, 2005

"The Bohemian club! Did you say Bohemian club? That's where all those rich Republicans go up and stand naked against redwood trees right? I've never been to the Bohemian club but you oughta go. It'd be good for you. You'd get some fresh air."—President Bill Clinton to a heckler

A Brutal End

"You know, once those people are gone, all our problems will be solved." - Geert Wilders on Muslims

"You know, once those people are gone, all our problems will be solved." - The Editors on Geert Wilders

As Heard on Charlie Rose

"I've had plenty of women, of course, but I never touched a lizard woman. The faint hissing was enough for me." - Charlie Rose

"Either revolt or flip burgers." - George Soros

"Help us to understand what was going through your mind when you bought the Strait of Gibraltar." - Charlie Rose to Carrie Fisher

"The American Office is such vile shit." - Josh Brolin

"But you do care about your family?" Rose to Chris Hitchens

Scalia: Between race and gender, I find race more compelling because...
Rose: ...because there are black men.

"Play Twister? I can't see a fucking thing in here." - Doris Kearns Goodwin

"Is there anything in particular that you would like me to do to you?" - Rose to a twenty-three year old, bilingual intern

"Vat the hell vus that?" - Henry Kissinger

"'...and as he opened the book he was torn apart by a tumult of small devils.'" - Rose, reading from the memoirs of Alan Alda

"I don't even know why you invited me here if you're just going to ask me to 'get nuts' every question." -Michael Keaton

“I constantly wanted to know and experience everything. But I was never intrigued by drugs. I always liked alcohol, but I never had cocaine in my life…I was never tempted – I was so in love with doing, experiencing, feeling, traveling…the experience itself was enough for me.” - Charlie Rose

Satan Is Real

"John McCain's win in the 2016 presidential election was largely attributed to his choice of running mate." -Arthur Schlesinger III

Dirt Nap

"My goddam heart is breaking!!!" - Hungarian Cinema

"Shit! Have a beer!" - Czech cinema

"You think you're sad? Fuck!" - Polish cinema

"The past! Campari!" - Italian cinema

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"- Russian cinema

"If I were possessed of a body like her's, I too could be free."
- Scott Brown on Lady Gaga

"Charles never touches bacon without a condom on."
- HM Elizabeth II

"Harold Ford Jr is with us, he's a sack of shit."
- The Charlie Rose Show

Burlington Bloat Factory

"They're offended? How about people who are not offended? Do we tally the numbers? Is there a right not to be offended?" - Rep. Anthony Weiner

"I live to hate New York. Its what gets me out of bed in the morning." - Shawn Corey Carter

"I will reconquer Cordoba for Isabella!" - Rick Lazio

"New York is the assemblage of every manifested aspect of a hangover." - Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf

"I dream of a world where imams and priests, rabbis and monks, shamans and nuns shall have their heads placed on pikes of equal height." - Mike Bloomberg

"My respect for my wives is inverse to my respect for the American people." - Newt Gingrich

"The milk is rotten, or the coffee is rotten, or they are both rotten, or they hate each other." - David Axelrod

"Anyone who promises gold is a breather of ash." - Anonymous Hedge Fund Manager

"Alright, the carpet is shaggy and mean looking, I'm passing out." - Eliot Spitzer