Thursday, January 29, 2015

History's Greatest Monsters

"Would I vote for Hitler? It's a complicated question. Today, of course not. But in 1933? I don't know." - Lance Armstrong

"Theo, my son, let me tell you the facts of life: money and power trump everything." - Dr. Huxtable tells Theo how to pay off a woman with Monopoly Money

"Cos, say it isn't so!" - a 12-year-old boy before being murdered by the police

"Someone needs to take up LBJ's side for once. He really wanted to help those people." - the Liberal Media on Selma

"This year, I resolve to communism better to my friends and family."
- Stalin, New Years Eve, 1935

“Shoot a pheasant or shoot your friends--just shoot a target.” - Cheney

"Only a Great War can give me meaning now." - Lance joins ISIS

"I spy a lie!" - Lance Armstrong barges into Bill Cosby's trailer

"Dreams are for organ donors." - Cheney

"What is it darling?"
"I had the most terrible nightmare. Bill Cosby was a rapist!"
- Tipper and Al, 1992

“Decency won’t save us.” - Cheney

"As long as the heat's on Cosby then it's off of me." - Robert Wagner

"I can only sympathize with animals as pets." - Cheney

"No WMD's? Don't care. Torture? Don't care. Deflated footballs? Don't care. We ‘won.' Go Pats.” - Tom Brady

"You don't understand, Wolf, my daughter being a lesbian effects me--a unique individual whom we all know. That's the tragedy of it." - Cheney

"Who cares about one loose wire showing in an entire universe of spectacular bullshit!?" - Paul Krugman fired after first appearance on NFL Gameday

"People always ask me, Are you sorry? Would you do it again? What about the innocents? It's increasingly tiresome and ridiculous. You never hear anyone ask mold why it ruins bread." - Cheney

"We dream of Anarchy and all its deliciously violent solutions. For us, however, the violence will offer no respite but only prolong the difficulty. The world we dwell in has only one problem: that of Power." - David Addington, blind and in the dress of a beggar, GW Bridge

"I mean, how big a deal is this compared to grown men causing each other brain trauma for five months out of the year?" - Belichick

"Look everything's fucked. It always was, and it always will be. You can cry about it, or you can take advantage of it." - Lance

"Actually, it's about ethics in TV journalism." - Bill Cosby

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