Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Ginch in the Time of Cholera

"I'll never love again." - Newt Gin Ginch, crying into his chocolate pudding, Mr. Gatti's lunch buffet

"There are so many people who I think are so sophisticated but then I look at their choice of sexual partners and I realize, no, they're not, they eat fast food just like everyone else." - New Gin Ginch to a mirror

"That's why it won't just be me on the USS Pegasus. Only strong women of will and a feeling of manifest destiny need apply." - The Ginch before being dismissed from the View

"...and if you stare into Cinnabon, Cinnabon stares also into you..."
- Ginch, Woodland Hills Mall, Tulsa, OK

"Quick, let's jerk off!" - Newt Gin Ginch, briefly alone with Rick Santorum at Thanksgiving Dinner

"Give me danger, little stranger." - Ginch in an awkward exchange with Chris Wallace, Fox News/Briggs Tech Debate

"And this is you how treat the man who puts his penis inside you?"
- The Ginch to Jackie Battley upon her diagnosis with uterine cancer

"The Obamas make love with all the passion of an afternoon workout at the gym, but our sex is like an amphibious invasion, a reptile circus." - Callista Gin Ginch

"At some point I realized that I would be alone forever, and I thought to myself, my God, it's going to be so much easier from now on." - West Georgia College Assistant Professor New Gin Ginch, days before being denied tenure

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