"Damn, I don't have any will to try this online dating thing again. Once something works out better than expected why bother doing it again." - Scott McClellan
"I don't go on dates, I take downers." - Bill Maher
"I want a girlfriend to breakup with." - from the diary of Barack Obama, spring 1989
"Pigs have love!" - Rick Parry
"There's plenty of fish in the sea, but they're all full of mercury." - Ted Turner
"Woman... woman... woman... crocodile!" - Field Marshall Tantwani
"I prefer to ignore Beyonce's existence, otherwise I would be driven mad with desire." - Chris Martin
"God, we're getting old! Soon women will stop being beautiful!" - guest editor Danny Tamberelli
"Waste money on me and I will love you forever." - the Artist/Woman
"Dating out of your league feels so great, but when you see a person a league above you do the same, you hate them so much for it, they seem so disgusting, so revoltingly superficial and yet so oblivious to their obvious, sickening superficiality, and then you see yourself for what you really are: the same." - Dennis Kucinich
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