If You Can Read This, You're Lying

Good Morning Campers,

You may remember the Swiss: detainers of Polanski, nation of boring-as-death cities, and 92% Bank. Well, turns out they're some thinkers as well. Some Swiss Right thinkers propose a law that would ban minarets throughout the country, changing the already bland skylines into tessellated gray cubes.

Rational citizen, Madeleine Trincat, retiree from Geneva, explicated: "The problem is not so much the minarets, but rather what they represent. After the minarets, the muezzins will come, then they'll ask us to wear veils and so on."

Now looking at the situation with less seething fear, swiss hotel association spokesman Thomas Allemann tried to temper this tone with the perspective of reason: the Euro. "Switzerland's good reputation as an open, tolerant and secure country may be lost and this would bring a blow to tourism."


Get some Here


Mark Twain called this rock in Lucerne the 'the most mournful and moving piece of stone in the world.' It commemorates the Swiss Guard, massacred in 1792 defending Marie Antoinette during the French Revolution, although she had fled the premises some time before. Known for their political neutrality, popes and emperors could be assured of the Swiss Guard's purchased loyalty.

The Guard may again rise and lead us all into Hell.