The Writing of Disaster

"KYRGYZSTAN IS MY ARABIA, AND I AM ITS LAWRENCE!"
- Ewan McGregor

"Look, I'm a Communist, I am a Communist--I'm the kind of guy who looks at history and says 'Lenin was a good guy'--and I am telling you: Barack Obama is not a Communist."
- the last words of Paul Newman

"To hate like this is to be happy forever!" - Roger Clemens

"Watching the 2010 World Cup on the tele is the moral equivalent of slowing your car to get a better glimpse at the braided tendrils of meat and upturned steel in the wreckage of a highway accident."
- Nobel Peace Prize Laureate F. W. de Klerk

"I am both whore and goddess!" - Norman Mailer

"No, I love coloreds." - Michael Bay

"I'll ride with Bedford Forest!" - Gov. Bob McDonnell

"You can't deny what you can't stop loving."
- Orenthal James "The Juice" Simpson

"The strong forget. The weak merely have the memories beaten out of them." - Mustafa Barghouti

"Not shooting parachutists before they land--I love it, it's really the most Romantic part of the Geneva Convention." - John Yoo

"Q: Sunny day.
A: Storm the palace."
- Felix Wu, Vermont-NEA Scholar's Bowl
State Championship Semifinal rapid fire round

“I’ll have the number two, with cheese.” - Kurmanbek Bakiyev

“If you will it, it is no dream.”
- Don L. Blankenship, President, Massy Energy Co.

"I wish I was capable of pregnancy so I could abort."
- Joseph Ratzinger

"You know, pleasure is the most efficient form of energy."
sez Bruce Ratner

"The Spirit is willing but the Flesh is weak." - Associate Justice John Paul Stevens, Citizens United vs. Federal Electoral Commission dissent

"One day a man will awaken and find that his ears have been dissolved in a vat of acid. Gentleman I propose we build said vat of human bones." - Chief Justice John Roberts

"Where we failed on health care was our inability to exploit religion. There was no angle for that kind of legitimate irrationality, and we lacked the resolve to fabricate one. Against the Democrat’s incontrovertibly rational arguments for reform, all we were left with was the illegitimate irrationality of the Tea Partiers." - Sarah Palin

"I was never in Vietnam." - Senator John McCain R-Arizona