Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Fascist Foodies

"If it's not al dente, it's just not pasta." - Mussolini

"That kale is not on the menu of every restaurant in this country is literally a crime against humanity." - Hitler

"I only drink Mexican Coke." - Franco

"Hmm... Do I want truffled fries or avocado fries?" - Imelda Marcos

"Freshly cooked steel-cut oats are the only fucking way I can start the day." - Stalin

"I carry a small bag of tamari almonds with me everywhere I go."
- Eva Peron

"The only thing I love more that quinoa is muff." - Gertrude Stein

"Is this arugula collectively farmed?" - Trotsky

"I drink wine from the skulls of desaparecidos to feel more Chilean."
- Pinochet

"Man was born to die." - Food Renunciationist Oswald Mosley

"I don't eat anything I haven't killed myself." - Ariel Sharon

"Chocolate, anyone?" - Putin, serving slices of Ukraine

"At table the Führer made another strong plea for vegetarianism. I consider his views correct. Meat-eating is a perversion of our human nature. When we reach a higher level of civilization, we shall doubtlessly overcome it." - Paul McCartney

"Vegetarianism, veganism, locavorism--all overreactions to the Fallenness of Man." - Michelle Obama

"People say Freud is dead, but all I see is oral regression."
- Caliph Ibrahim

"Send monsieur up a whore and a pot of coffee, immediately."
- François Hollande's secretary

"More slaw?" - only line of dialogue written from Al Gore's unfinished World War II screen treatment Copper Willed Men Together

“Why, I do believe I'll have the slaw with that ham sandwich!!!” - FDR screaming at a lunch counter, Biloxi, MS

"Alright folks, group lunch. Let's hand out the burgers, one for each and then we'll share those sides, right? Ok, where's the slaw?"
"Well. Mr. President, usually Jay would get the slaw."
::His mouth open, vacant stare, a humming sound...::
"Mr. President?"

"Always have it on hand, always." - Bill Clinton, "Re: Slaw," first declassified memo, Clinton Presidential Library

"What's all that in the fucking tub, James?"
"Get in, Mary!"
- the Carville Household Slaw Tub

"That cake looks like shit." - FDR

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