"When people say that a man is 'smart' what they really mean is that he has an ability to be so condescending towards women that they internalize the inferiority he projects on them." - Colin Firth
"The key to giving someone disappointing news is to anticipate their reaction without letting them know that you have anticipated it, so that when you deliver the bad news, your compensatory display of compassion will appear to be the spontaneous and organic extension of the bond you share with them, rather than the result of dry, intellectual calculation." - James Franco
"It's not that I've never had sex, it's just that I've never been able to rationalize it." - The Smartest Man in the World
"Love is important but so are Things." - Woman
"If I a nuclear physicist can beat these machines so can others. Together these men shall breed with our finest woman and humanity will enter its Third Age." - Rep. Rush Holt (D-NJ) beats IBM's "Watson" on Jeopardy
"Bitch, take this t-shirt off me if you want it!!!!" - Newt Gingrich
Note to the Reader: The views of PH on these matters is not necessarily the opinion of If You Can Read This, You're Lying or any of the Editor's wives.
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