We All Gonna Get Gay Married!

"Life is a bad joke, and this day North Carolina is the punch line." - Andrew Sullivan

"On the contrary, Gov. Romney and I have the exact same position on gay marriage: we're both for whatever's most politically expedient." - Barack Obama

"Oh fuck! I forgot that's where the Convention will be, it's going to be like '68 all over again, I hope you can swing a pipe." - an ashen David Plouffe to a shocked Robert Gibbs

"Congressman Ryan, have you ever even kissed a man?"
"Well, I... I..."

"Have you never felt a man wrap his strong hairy arms about you, press you to his warm, bare chest, and whisper in yours, 'I love you?'"

"My God!"

"Have you never even watched videos of ladies making it with each other? I mean tasteful, sex-positive videos with good lighting?"

"My God, no!"

"You see what I mean, how can you take a guy like this seriously?"

- Joe Biden, Paul Ryan, Vice-Presidential Candidate Debate

"Gay marriage is the gateway drug to equal pay." - Patricia Heaton

"There are but two classes, the gay and the straight, and the latter shall be equal in their mastery over the earth!" - Billy Graham, first shit in three years

"I think the upcoming film Prometheus is a good representation of what gay marriage will bring about." - Willard Romney, Durham Sci-Fi Convention

"Free and legal, baby. People should be free to grow it, corporations should be free to sell it, the government should be free to tax it. Why are we ruining lives and squandering millions? It feels fucking great and people fucking love it." - Joe Biden, Man For All Seasons, on marijuana