Ginch, All Too Ginch

"He was the last living meme." - John 'Marat' Boehner

"Three rows of police in riot gear, two rows of metal barriers, and one row of armored horses are all that stands between the mob and its freedom. Our society desperately, desperately wants to tear itself apart. Loins burning, eyes afire with mad craving, drool washing over our glittering fangs, we are ravenous for self-destruction. To see such a dimwitted band of tacky, complacent, paternalistic ignoramuses turn their backs on the hellfire of the future and line up to prevent the violent consummation of our collective will to die is the worst disappointment I have known as a citizen, as a historian, and as an artist." - the Ginch, May Day

"Newt's never been the same since Burning Man. For one thing, now he's immortal." - Reince Priebus

"Loathsome! A beast! A troll! Biden once compared him to a lizard but that can't be right, he's a creature of pure gin and the last of Margaret Thatcher's seed on Earth." - Hillary Clinton going off-script at the White House Correspondent's Dinner 

"He told me that if he wins I could still keep the See as long as I delivered to him his wife's height in stained glass, frankincense, and myrrh." - Pope Ratzinger the Raccoon

"If asked I will praise him, but do not force me to bear the sight of him, for that I cannot do." - Willard 'White Gloves' Romney 

"Love is like the creation of the universe or fire-bombing a city with no strategic value, that is, violence without pity and the creative will its only end." - Calista Gingrich

"Somewhere  in the great Mojave there stalks like a polar bear a great white Form on four legs. His cetaceous heft sways from side to side as he lopes across the infinite flat searching for a salt lick. On a full moon, astronauts can spot his alabaster mass from orbit. Whereupon he finds a lick, he sets to work, all a'slobber, lowering his great pink tongue like a rope ladder and evacuating Nature of its flavor and of its nutriment. On and on he sucks, far beyond satiety, as though compelled by some duty to replace the world's body with his own. For a time, gustatory ecstasy replaces the sadness that throbs in him always. But the lick runs out, and alkaline sadness returns. On he roves. He's still out there, his huge, lumbering, cosmic body glistening in the unfriendly night. Ah, Newt! Ah, humanity!" -The Lost Wife

"When people ask me what I see as the future of the American people, well I just look in the mirror." - Ginch Celestial