Friday, June 3, 2011

Free Market Association

Brother Herman,

Commentators from Zizek to Stanley Fish talk about how liberal tolerance is not equivalent to its own self-image: tolerance is always structured by implicit exclusions, by that which will not be tolerated. For example, religion. In liberal society, religious faith must be private, ironic, must not be imposed on others as a universal truth--which amounts to saying that it must not be religious. However, such naysayers are missing the real sense in which liberal society privatizes religion, which in truth is no loss at all: religion must be private, not as in the First Amendment or as in the Ninth, but private as in enterprise. Recalling certain jokes about high altitude real estate getting one closer to heaven, we note that the real estate market in certain parts of Lower Manhattan values properties on their proximity, measured in fractions of an inch, to the New York Stock Exchange, since closer properties give black box trading computers a competitive advantage in conducting their light-speed communications with the central stock exchange servers.

Yours in faith,

Mike Huckabee


Dear Gov. Huckabee,

I will not buy your BBQ sauce no matter how fast nor how tall in relation to my meat.

Loaves and fishes,

Herman Cain, Th.D, Church of Mozzarella

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