"Fascist trash! Meet the true love!" - Pedro Almodovar before stabbing J.J. Abrams with a raw dildo
"The apps please me more than the pig gurgle of my fellow man." - Steve Jobs
"Everything advertised on cartoons when I was 8 is excellent." - Lost Generation 2.0
"If Al-Qaeda wishes to be relevant again they'll have to attack Comic-Con." - Leon Panetta in response to a question from Sen. Scott Brown, Senate Committee on Recess
"Africa will be far better even than X-Box 360." - Bill Gates announcing his micro credit card program for Windows Mobile, Developing Nation Edition
"What the hell is going on?" - Tom Hanks, fading into the ether
"Sim City X will allow the player to actually redesign Dubai, and will include new disasters such as Erik Prince." - Will Wright
"My diaper is full auntie, may I have another hot dog?" - Warren Buffet to Melinda Gates
"I like Asian women." - Mark Zuckerberg on Innovation to Fareed Zakaria, Davos
GTA: Kabul to consist entirely of long drives through desert, interrupted by meals at Pizza Hut, until you die.
"I never thought it would get this bad." - Steven Spielberg
"After the tapas and the anisette I said my goodbyes and took to bed. There I dreamed of a shop, but it was smooth and entirely of white. The people there were finely dressed but gave all their money for small shiny boxes. Tomorrow Panchito, I want orders drawn up, all ketchup is to be removed from the nation." - General Francisco Franco, after a night of awkward pleasure
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