Monday, July 11, 2016

Exit Right, Pursued by a Bear



“Oi, I'll have the Brexit scramble a side of toast and runny beans and the mud coffee, mum!”

"Fuck the moon, you say? Where do I sign up!" - Boris Johnson turns it around

“Intoxicating—a killer recumbent with satisfaction, high on violence, drunk on flesh, the calories of another creature coursing through its veins...”
“There’s a way to communicate with them you know—they have a kind of feel for dominance and malevolent power. You have to slowly blink your eyes at them: it's the symbol of calm and submission.”
- the Camerons discuss Larry, Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office

"I rejected unions communism and the left and now have no means to articulate why my life is getting worse! Tear it all down!" - the much talked about White Working Class

“I am literally Jabba the Hut!” - Roger Ailes jerking off in the Mango Room

"I meet women at airports whenever I want, bud." - Bill Clinton to Jeffrey Toobin on Loretta Lynch

“So, what the fuck do you ‘G-Men’ want?” - HRC hungover but steady, FBI Headquarters

"And every day we’ll have crisps for dinner!" - Michael Gove

"There's not enough cranberry sauce in this county to keep the bull off your ass." - George Osborne on the fiscal impact

"Certain types worship the asp." - Prince George’s first words

"I am the Future and the Past. I am the lassitude of the Popular Will and the Immovable Majority. I am the man who sits at the poker table for hours saying again and again and again, 'Check.'" - Jeremy Corbyn

"The Corgis, of course—they must be buried with me." - HM

"Prince William Described as 'Utterly, Completely Hairless' by Duchess of Cambridge" 

“Those cucks have had it too good for too long!” - Rupert Murdoch to Jerry Hall on no one in particular

"Prince Harry to Convert to Catholicism: Queen 'Apoplectic'"
- Daily Mail

"Among the great victories...." - HRC on a mountain of Damned

“I think that is absolutely essential and we should definitely address it later. I am absolutely listening to what you have to say, David.”
- Obama interrupts Cameron at the NATO Summit, Hyatt Regency Warsaw

“Are we not all of Norman blood?” - Marine Le Pen

"Pat, how did you get on the series finale of Game of Thrones?"
"J'ai gros crouer. Nanan took me down to the Magazin. Inside a man say to me: ‘He's got the gumbo.’ Then we made the veiller."
- Game of Thrones moves production to Louisiana post-Brexit

"’Hi, I'm California Historian Mark Davis and this is a car jacking,’ he said, and then he threw a copy of City of Quartz at me and the next thing I knew I was on the street and my Acura was gone." - Jerry Brown

“...and it truly was a Magical Mystery Tour.” - Tony Blair, excerpt from end of autobiography

“Alright time to get out there and hate like a mountain! Smash it like taffy until someone calls the police! Playing those music videos for hours...” - Trump with Nigel Farage at his Highland Golf Course, McTaggerty’s Randy Green on the Loch


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