Friday, October 19, 2012

Electoral Abyss

"The Blood Agenda is premised on the view that America is in a Galt-esque death spiral and that our portion of the pie must be maintained against that of the Bums at all costs." - Glenn Hubbard, leadership seminar

"It's a bizarre cultural niche which this document occupies. Every evil young man likes it before he even begins it, undeterred by the warnings of those who have gone before. 'I am made of a different sort of stuff,' he tells himself and pursues his death with the flames of optimism licking at his heels. Make no mistake: this document was made to harm you alone and the fact that it has undone others should not concern you. Still, you will die." - Paul Krugman on the Ryan Budget 

"I want Obama to win, but I'm not going to vote for him--I'm casting a protest vote for Breanna Manning. If Obama loses, am I to blame? If he wins, do I get to be glad? These are the mysteries of our religion, democracy." - Anderson Cooper

"Ugly people just have the silly habit of doing ugly things." - Newt Gin Ginch casting a faithless elector vote for Barack Obama, breaking an Electoral College tie in GA

"You're not watching the debate?"
"I don't need to watch the debates to know that Barack Obama is black."
- Jonathan Franzen, Michael Chabon
Q: There are three superstitious words in the following sentence: "If one of these candidates wins, the world will get worse." What are the superstitious words?
A: "Wins," "world," and "worse."
"They're so perfect! But how do I know they're the same dollar bills?!?!" - Rex Sinquefield feverishly recounting his money every night

"It's a small world of evil whites." - David Mamet running into Kathryn Bigelow at Pissant Farm, Bohemian Grove

"Todd Palin is part Eskimo, he pisses in the snow and every time it spells TREASON!" - Ted Stevens' ghost

"He's just a hot, fresh honky. Like, straight out of the oven." - Charles Krauthammer spies Jeb Bush passing by, Camp Koch, Bohemian Grove

"I don't know. I don't think it's going to work out."
"What do you mean? There's untold thousands in our personal republics! If you wish to bring them to war on a lark for a thin line in Akron, I'm all the more for it!"
- Charles and David Koch

"What are the Koch's but children who use improper wiping tactics?" - Bill Clinton, Ogles Water Park, Pigeon Forge, TN

"The barbed wire slip 'n' slide! They shut it down after that big lawyer from Gainesville came to town. You ever seen her: Sweet Gaine? I mean have you set your feet upon Gainesville's earth?" - Marco Rubio telling stories of home to keep warm on the Hyperdimensional Front

"I just want to go to sleep, I just want it to be tomorrow, WHY CAN'T I FUCKING FALL ASLEEP?!" - Mitt Romney, 8:00 p.m., November 6, 2012

"The most underestimated force is sheer inertia." - Hillary Clinton, 2016

"Let his timbre ring on endlessly in the halls of violence and power!"
"Uhhh--Kill them all!"
- President Michelle Rhee, Supreme Cyborg Justice Barack Obama

"It's all going to end up in Leftist didacticism and flames, death and a thousand-year tornado in the flats." - the Editors, debating whether to accept funding from Independence PAC

"To serve evil you must embrace silk."- Xi Jinping

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