"...the beast that I saw was like a leopard, its feet were like a bear's and its mouth was like a lion's mouth." - St. John gets his first kiss at the Helos Roller Derby, 127 A.D.
"Let anyone with understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a person." - an early church father is given a fake number after meeting a Priestess of Ra at a retreat, women are henceforth denied the priesthood
"The female uterus is a zone of pure negative energy." - Todd Akin
"I don't consider myself religious, but rather spiritual." - Michael Houellebecq
"There were so many times I could have had true love, a relationship that really worked, a simple life of simple pleasures. But I had to spend it all high on Power and God." - Jopseph Ratzinger at confession
"If only I could trade the American nuns for their weight in marble, then I could truly build my Church." - Timothy Dolan