"The People just aren't clean." - Gov. Scott Walker, WI
"Why be Machiavelli when I could be the Prince?" - Rahm the Great
"I don't want to be a huge dick--human suffering is terrible--but it doesn't pluck my heart strings that four evangelizing American retirees on a yacht were murdered by Somali pirates." - Sen. John McCain
"When I shit, baby, it's got to be underground!" - Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney
"No, manned spaceflight doesn't have any value. That is why we are proud to announce Sputnik VII, an el-Qaddafi-manned spacecraft mounted on a V-2 rocket. Its re-entry point: a charter bus carrying a Georgian YoungLife group en route from the Mall of America to Disneyland. Matt Jones has been holding Ashley Nance's hand since Winnipeg." - Charles F. Bolden, Jr.
"Sometimes on a nice day I can sit on my old back porch and disappear clouds with my mind." - Gerald Ford, 1999