"All the retching and bitching and hatred for the last three Star Wars movies then Disney gives them a minute of a new one and they roll over like bitches in heat! Everything you need to know about Americans right there--they'll take it every time." - James Cameron to Kathryn Bigelow, celebrity tour of Guantanamo Bay
"Surely we can't criticize popular culture in this, the best of all possible worlds." - Robert Downey Jr. at the Korean DMZ
“All the sex in this movie is practical effects." - J.J. Abrams, Star Wars: Eddie Bauer Edition!
"Star Wars is, and it always has been, pure California."
- George Lucas, Episode VIII: The Promise and Peril of the Bay
“Of course I'm Hispanic." - Jeb Bush to George Lucas
"After releasing the IP to Disney, I was finally able to progress beyond the anal phase." - George Lucas
"Après Felicity, le déluge." - JJ Abrams
"Star Wars was never sci-fi, and it was never fantasy. It was post-modern pastiche, the first modern blockbuster, the death of genre." - literary genius George R. R. Martin
“Why bother creating when to suck it down is so much better?” - Hayden Christensen to that kid and Jawa #6 at FanCon Omaha 2016
“I'm just one of those people, I wake up in the middle of the night and I think: how can I tell the same story again and again.” - JJ, Episode IX: Escape from Marin County
"When Harrison broke his leg, they offered me the part, but I turned it down because Abrams wouldn't let me shoot first." - William Petersen
"Our only hope is to convince people they still care about Star Wars."
"On the contrary, people don't know they are allowed to not care about Star Wars."
- Samantha Power and Clinton Campaign Chair John Podesta
"Ungrateful welp, the Star Wars were fought for your benefit."
- John McCain
"Harrison Ford's so fucking old, he needs a facelift."
"What, so he can look like Carrie Fisher?"
"Oh yeah, she like got hit by a hot garbage truck, right?"
"Hey, man, come on, she has a disease, it's not her fault she bought that mountain of cocaine."
- Stormtrooper extras in two distinct time periods on the sets of both Schindler's List and Star Wars VII
"I'm still waiting for my call." - Billy Dee Williams
"It's really a shame that Lando died in Return of the Jedi."
- George Lucas consulting with JJ Abrams on set
Black Star Wars: A Pop Musical Extravaganza
Starring...
Luke Skywalker ... Andre 3000
Princess Leia ... Alicia Keys
Obi-Wan Kenobi ... Fred Williamson
Han Solo ... Justin Timberlake
Chewbacca ... Yao Ming
R2-D2 ... Peter Dinklage
C-3PO ... Reggie Watts
Lando Calrissian ... Terrence Howard
Yoda ... Robert De Niro
Jabba the Hutt … Aretha Franklin
Darth Vader ... Cee Lo Green
Grand Moff Tarkin ... Christoph Waltz
Emperor Palpatine ... Ronald Reagan
the voice of every Stormtrooper ... Louis C.K.
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