"Motorcycle battles, that's how you and I will go, a fiery but honorable death defending Greensboro." - Gary Johnson to Howard Coble
"Haw haw haw to the death!" - Saxby Chambliss
"...maybe I'm crazy... maybe we're all dead already... maybe this is Hell..." - John Boehner yachting with Cee Lo Green in Nantucket
"The Internet is empty!" - Ron Paul
"I dread getting old, for I know that when I do, I will realize that I was never young." - Eric Cantor
"I am heartened by the jury's decision, for it reassures me that the freedom to do Evil still exists." - OJ Simpson on Casey Anthony
"I'm so afraid. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."
"You have to."
- Tim Pawlenty, Willard Romney
"At Davos, Sasha Obama told me the Gate of Hell is in the basement of the Scores in Ibiza!" - Paul Krugman undergoing diabetic shock from too much wedding cake, Shanghai
"Do not jump into the furnace! Just gaze at into its luminance until you go blind." - Sheikh Cornelius Vanderbilt to Rick Parry
"I know you love her but every horse has to go to the glue house." - Newt Gin Ginch to his daughters on Jackie Battley, September 1980
"September showers bring... overflowing sewers clogged with dead leaves... a city choking to death on its own vomit..." - Michele Bachmann crawling home from a loft party in Bushwick
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