When I Speak, I'm Lying

"When I speak, thousands of young girls wave colored flags in concert." - Kim Jong Il
  
"When I speak, millions of people move in chaos to produce the goods of commerce." - Hu Jintao

"When I speak, I appear immediately on television." - Barack Obama

"When I speak, my word becomes Law!" - Hugo Chavez

"When it is mandatory to produce discourse, it is revolutionary to remain silent." - AT&T