"My body is trying to kill me." - Michelle Bachman
"All I can think about is the time passing and the next drink." - Rick Scott
"I've been up so long it looks like down to me." - John Boehner, on ecstasy listening to Randy Newman with Kevin McCarthy
"I am a little toy boat afloat on a river of Ambien." - Nancy Pelosi
"Humanity is the rainbow gleam on an oil slick." - Michael R. Bromwich
"Judge, I'm Evil!"
"Counsel, put the boy down."
- Eric Cantor at Virginia Youth Legislature
"Where is Death when we need it?"
"Join the Peace Corps, you PBR-plutocrat."
- The Editors, Barney Frank
"You can take the Jew out of Germany, but you can't take Germany out of the Jew." - Henry Kissenger, Operation Menu
"Arm in arm we shall march into the glorious communist future." - FDR, in a letter to Uncle Joe on his deathbed
"The Road is the Atlas Shrugged of our time." - Rand Paul
"I don't really take damnation seriously after Taiwan." - John Hunstman to Elton John, Battleboro, NH
"How can you smile through such horror?"
"Populism."
- John McCain walking through the ashes of a dead forest
"The black lipstick!" - Pervez Musharaff at the Geneva Doom Portal
"If we leave too soon, we may sacrifice the gains we've made." - David Petraeus on the campaign to conquer Hell
"Where's the courts?" - John McEnroe, the 6th Concentric Circle
"There's no accounting for taste." - Gilles de Rais
