Wednesday, July 15, 2015



“There is no right or left in Greece. We are all united in the Oxi to European dominance.” - Ioannis Metaxas

"Witness the horrible triumph of liberal democracy: a people given the chance to abolish the future, but they have to fucking vote to do it!"
- bandito Paul Krugman

"As this plebiscite is the only thing I've received from the state in five years, I'm naturally worried that they're going to take it out of my pension. Wouldn't it be better simply to default on the vote itself?"
- chorus of 40% of eligible voters

“The purpose of voting is to constitute and legitimate the state: voting 'no' is a contradiction in terms.” - Jürgen Habermas

"Greece exit? Such hubris. America has spent her whole life trying to leave Europe, only to succeed in turning the entire World into a shitty imitation of it." - Janet Reno

“If we deconstruct the binary of 'oxi' and 'nai' in the text that is the demos of Hellas (placed under erasure) it becomes clear that the notion (der Begriff) of choice (from the Germanic and Old French 'chois') phallocentrically (not to mention eurocentrically!) (re)presses and maintains its putative neoliberal contrary: non-choice.”
- Avital Ronell, op-Ed Le Monde

"Save me from my Teutonic banality, ye profligate children of the Reich!" - Gerhard Richter, shouting to anyone who will listen outside his summer home in a bunker above Thessaloniki

“Greece gave birth to Western civilization, and Greece has the right to destroy it." - Nia Vardalos

“Say it with Euros, boys!” - Laskarina Bouboulina

"Angela will lose that smirk when we join the Drachma." - Silvio Berlusconi's 15th inaugural address

“Forget the drachma! What will happen when I'm forced to convert my tax exemptions into Swiss Francs?” - Greek media mogul George Bobolas

“We stand in solidarity with our Greek brothers in their stand against European infidels.” - various ISIS Twitter accounts

Gypsy children at the station want a coin, want a savor,
Oh, momma, don't that ouzo sting so sweet,
Ridin' commando on an Athens-bound bus,
‘Oxi,’ she said, ‘Oxi...’
- Kris Kristofferson, Live at the Parthenon, Athens 2015


"To change nothing, forever" - scrawl in ballpoint pen covering the walls of the Finance Minister’s private bathroom stall, discovered by Euclid Tsakalotos on his first day in office

"We will negotiate with you!"
"No, fuck you, pay me."
- Plan B

“What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.'” - Wolfgang Schäuble explains the business cycle to Yanis Varoufakis, prompting his resignation

“What the fuck happened?”
“What happened is, we’ve been trolled. Consummately trolled. Trolled like fucking Congressmen on Twitter. Trolled by an avant-garde performance of the vacuity of Leftist hopes.”
- Omar Sharif talks down the panicked Jacobin editorial board while cooly drawing on his last cigarette

“There is no coup. Everything is working as intended: democracy to banish all forms of domination except the economic, the EU to advance democracy, and social democrats to secure capitulation under the guise of resistance.” - European Council President Donald Tusk

“Fiscal responsibility is the most successful meme of our time.”
- Jānis Reirs, Finance Minister of the ‘Nation’ of Latvia

“Endless penance!” - Pope Emeritus Joseph Ratzinger

"Let my semen be their tzatziki." - Dominique Strauss-Khan

"Bring another bottle, something actually fucking dry!"
“Herr Schäuble, that's the fifth bottle you've sent back!"

"I try to stay away from politics wherever possible." - Angela Merkel

"You can't just consign an entire nation to austerity and isolation!"
"What about your Newark, New Jersey?"
- Vox panel stumped by Christine Lagarde

“Human goodness does not scale up!” - David Graeber, late night confession to Pablo Iglesias on the Red Telephone

"False consciousness is the new Lutheranism." - Antonio Negri, helping Zizek rake leaves on his estate on the Austro-Slovenian border

“I think I am becoming a god.” - Mario Draghi jumps into the mouth of Mount Etna

"I am the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse." - David Cameron, seated on a Harley next to the Reagan statue in Grosvenor Square

“I don't understand why the Latvians are being such vindictive little bitches. They got to keep their language didn't they?” - Michael D. Higgins, President of Ireland

"Ich bin ein Berliner." - the ghost of Aristotle Onassis

“Liberation theology, like debt forgiveness, must be dispensed with moderation.” - Pope Francis

"There's only one cartel, cabron. It was here before me, and it will be here after me, and it will exist as long as la frontera." - El Chapo

“Alright, Monsieur Piketty, I will see your debt jubilee and raise you one Air Force base.”
“Too rich for my blood, Senator Marshall.” (Folds)

“My progeny has achieved my ultimate goal. I sacked Rome, but they have sacked all of Europe.” - Alaric, King of the Germanic barbarians, on the right hand side of God

“We shall salt your economy so that no business shall ever grow there again.” - Jean-Claude Juncker

"I can see Germany from my house." - Putin, peering through the eye of a 150-foot tall statue of Sisyphus in Kaliningrad accessible only by private escalator

“It’s crazy, isn’t it, what’s going on in Greece right now, how, uh, how hard they’re working over there, and here we are, champagne every night, watching the sunset over Lake Geneva…”
Kerry couldn’t find the words. All he could think about was Zarif, sitting there close beside him. He glanced at Zarif nervously. Zarif’s dark eyes were fixed on him, gentle yet… hungry. Kerry looked back at the lake. His heart was pounding.
Without a word, Zarif slid his hand into Kerry’s and squeezed it tightly. Kerry swallowed. His face went flush. Zarif’s hand was so warm, so soft, so firm.
“I wish these negotiations would never end,” said Kerry.
“Me too.”

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