"If these shootings continue unabated, soon we'll be out of whites!" - a moderate Republican
"Shootings? People are just prairie dogs to me anyway." - Rep. Louis Gohmert
"This country has to choose: the deaths of more innocent whites at the hands of the deranged, or the deaths of more de facto guilty blacks at the hands of law enforcement." - Ross Douthat
"I am living proof that gun control and big money do not have to be at odds with one another." - Michael Bloomberg
"I've got such a Control Boner." - Ray Kelly
"I wouldn't go to public school if you put a gun to my head." - Davis Guggenheim
"What's missing from the media circus is the gun's story. Where is its voice, its rights?" - Chuck Norris
"If there is no freedom to kill, then there is no freedom." - an AR-15
"I despair the conception of gun rights in terms of negative liberty, the highest expression of which is Security, total freedom from all forms of risk and danger. Real liberty is not freedom from, but freedom to. It is power, capacity. Only a human thinks that a bird is free from gravity, rather than that it possesses the power of flight. Against Security, which is nothing else but freedom from the World, we must oppose Terror, the freedom to make a World through violence." - Bobby Seale
"I have a certain admiration for murderers: they seize the freedom that the rest of us are too frightened or weak to seize. That is what makes these massacres perpetrated by the insane so tragic: there is no agency involved." -Ted Kaczynski
"It's like you work in a mine but your own shit is the mountain." - a rash-covered Congressional Page to an empty Chamber, C-Span
"What about this fiscal cliff? What the fuck are we going do? People could fall off and die."
"Senator Bilbo, during my time in Indonesia the people had a saying."
"What was that?"
- Sen. Bacchus
"What has this Congress accomplished, Senator?"
"We stopped the damned cripples from walkin' over us!"
- Sen. James Mountain Inhofe
"Plan B, okay, I keep my job?" - Boehner rallies the troops
"These men, doctor, their skin is foul and green and their eyes are sick as those who take drink."
"Yes, General, all these men have brucellosis..."
"Brucellosis! But only cows can get that!"
- Mitch McConnell and the Blue Moon Army fail to retake Western Kentucky
"What sound does the Night make when it overtakes the Day?" - Joel Osteen to a whetstone as he sharpens a knife lingeringly
"The sun hates us! Repent!"
"Speak not to me of piety! The sword!"
- David Brooks and Paul Krugman battle on the last iceberg
"This world is a sea of blood..." - Bob Corker, dealing with his daughter's menarche
"What is the Republican war on women compared to Woman's war on Man?" - Rep. Strindberg, R-MI
"Every sperm is sacred." - Peter Jackson
"I'm like a red hot stone in a field of snow." - Jack Welch making snow angels
"Robots can function independently in conditions that no human body could bear, but I wonder if they do not feel the cold." - Kathryn Bigelow on the set of Drone
"Night strangles the day and cold reclaims the land. A bus hurtles through the black, trailed by bats at the woods close in. The headless horseman's one headlight jangles in the dark like the pen of fate writing on the wind..." - Scott Brown on a Peter Pan bus to Springfield, MA, talking aloud to no one, pressing his bags to his chest despite the empty overhead bins...