“The problem is partisanship, both sides can't agree, they need to make tough choices and sacrifice their sacred cows, country first blahhh blllurrr goooo ahhhh zzzzzzz……” - Barack Obama
"I had a dream that all the Senators just made love for the sake of feeling not fashion, the House was full of flowers, and the President was a beautiful horse, we could ride him.” – John Boehner
“People who clamor for those richer than themselves to pay less taxes than themselves ought be annihilated.” – Dennis Kucinich on Democracy Now
“I was never one for hope, but whatever the slightly more reasonable alternative to hope is, I have lost even that.” – John McCain
“What I’m saying is, if you keep a Border Collie in a Bay Area apartment with nothing to do, it very quickly goes insane.” – Nancy Pelosi, chewing a hole in the Senate Chamber wall
"My piss is white as snow." - Eric Cantor
“I'm going to become a satrap of the Persian Emperor and eat grape leaves until I die of pleasure.” - Jay ‘Coyote Ugly’ Carney
“God, I hate packing, I'll just bring eight scarves and a whip.” – Larry Summers fleeing to Macau
John Boehner: But, Barry, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Barack Obama: What happened?
John Boehner: He lived happily ever after.