"It wasn't rape-rape." - Whoopi Goldberg
"Abloo-bloo-bloo! Ablargh! Ragdabloogadee!" - Glenn Greenwald
"We've found the most effective strategy is pouring hot wax on our testicles" - Harper's Editorial Staff
"Who the hell is Julian Assange? And where the fuck are my poodle-skin slippers?" - Vladimir Putin
"I long to strike wildly at his body until my hands are warm and wet." - Sen. Mitch McConnell on Julian Assange
"Don't feel too sorry for him. You can still run websites and fuck whores in Swedish prisons." - Angela Merkel
"I haven't had a hard-on this big in years." - Dick Cheney
